Prank Wars
by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo
Summary: SEQUEL TO PRANK CALLS: The Cullen Pack, Some of the Wolf Pack, Aro, Renee, Charlie, Mike, Eric and soon enough the WHOLE of Forks get involved in a full blown prank war breaks Everyone is plotting sweet sweet revenge. Very OOCness
1. The Beggining Of A Prank War

**DISCLAIMER: **

**StephenieMeyer: The author of this story would like to tell you something won't you *glares at me***

**Me: I like cheese :D**

**SM: *glares***

**Me: So everything I write in this story is mine :D**

**SM: *glares* I WILL slap you**

**Me: Okay FINE, I don't own anything in this chapter….yet**

**SM: Yet *eye roll* And what else?**

**Me: I don't own Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner or any of the Twilight cast. No matter how obsessed I am or how many posters I have!**

**SM: Well done, now that wasn't hard was it?**

**Me: Yes it *beep*ing was!**

**_____________________________________________**

**So literally this is my sequel from my other story Prank Calls. You don't really have to read my previous story to understand I shall fill you in if you haven't read my other story Prank Calls.**

**So literally when Bella, Emmett, Edward and Alice are away they Prank call random twilight characters. People find out and they all form teams and they prank for about 10 chapters. So this is just following up. It turns into a massive Prank War. Hence this story. Some things in this story might refer back to the previous story. I shall tell you. **

**Hello to my new readers!**

**Chapter 1**

"I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!" Emmett declared. Everyone looked at him confused.

"What the bunny rabbits is a prank war?!" Mike asked. Emmett gasped.

_Oh My Giddy God _**Emmett**

"WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT MIKE!" Emmett shouted. Mike flinched back.

"Ummm, sorry Emmett," Mike apologised.

"Sir Emmett to you!" Emmett shouted in Mike's face, "AS I WAS SAYING. WAY TO RUIN A MOMENT MIKE! Here I was thinking we could go straight into pranks. BUT NOOO, you being the dumbass you are doesn't know what a Prank War is!" Emmett shouted. Jessica then put her hand up, blushing,

"I would be another one of dumbasses," She admitted. Emmett sighed deeply.

"OH MY BANANAS elevate your hand if you are also another dumbass!" Emmett demanded.

_OMG did he just say Oh my bananas? He is soo gay _**Alice**

_Oh my bananas! He so nicked my phrase! _**Mike**

Literally everyone raised their hand. Emmett rolled his eyes,

"Jeez my knees. Wait Jasper why is your hand up, you know what a prank war is!" Emmett said. Jasper looked around, he then put his hand down

"Sorry, I thought I was for dumbasses in general," Jasper said. **[A/N: no offence Jasper fans ILOVEJASPER!] **Alice walked over to Jasper.

"Don't worry Jazzsquare you may be a dumbass, but you are MY dumbass," Alice said, comfortingly.

_Because __**THAT **__cheers me up. Maybe this is a prank. Well she doesn't know that I know. _**Jasper**

Jasper grabbed Alice's hand.

_Look at her innocence, she knows I know, but she doesn't know I know she knows! _**Jasper **

I decided to block out his thoughts, he was giving me a imaginary Vampire headache. Alice looked at him.

"WHERE IS THE PAINT?!" Jasper demanded. "DON'T PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME ALICE FELULAH CULLEN!" Jasper shouted. Alice looked at him.

"That's not my middle name," Alice pointed out. Jasper slit his eyes.

"THAT IS NOT RELEVANT!" He shouted.

"Well I think it is! Due to the fact you could be introducing me as Alice Felulah Cullen!" Alice argued. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"So do I get to explain the definition of the Prank War?" Emmett asked. "Then you can get back at jasper okay Alice," Emmett pointed out. Everyone nodded, and stared at Emmett.

_Oh my pippi longstockings! Everyone's eyes is staring at me _**Emmett**

"Well, so the Prank War will have a couple of rules, and to explain. A prank War is literally where there is teams and you just randomly prank other teams. Everyone successful prank you get one point for your team. Simple" Emmett explained.

_I shall now try to keep it in my little brain _**Mike**

"Okay so what are the te--" Aro began to ask. Emmett interrupted.

"SO THE RULES ARE!" He shouted.

_Man he interrupted Aro, dayumm he got balls! _**Jasper**

_I Love Bella. Isn't she just beautiful _**Jacob **I silently growled at Jacob. He looked at me and smiled _get out my brain then leech! _**Jacob**

I ignored him and continued to listen to Emmett. Emmett reached in his pocket and got a piece of paper out his pocket. It was covered in chocolate stains.

"Wow, Emmett looks like you have been planning this," Mike said.

"Sometimes it good to be prepared!" Eric weeped.

_Like it would have been when Bella ripped my heart to shreds, stamped on it and ate it. But that was in the past. We could still be friends. WHO AM I KIDDING! She's a WHORE. _**Eric**

I laughed quietly. Bella chose me, I still can't believe it! I started doing my happy dance. Everyone looked at me.

"Edward what the hell?" Renee asked, everyone turned to look at me.

"Umm, sorry, I had beetles in my pants." I said. I think that was the human saying. Everyone looked at me. Well I guess it's not.

"Anyway, forgetting Edward's retarded dance, the reason it is covered in that brown stuff, is because I fell." Emmett said,

_Funny how no one asked _**Renee**

_I wonder what would be a better to kill Edward with. A gun, or a crowbar. I think a crowbar will take longer, so it will be more pleasurable _**Charlie**

"In chocolate?" I joked. Emmett looked down.

"Maybe." Emmett said. "So back to the rules, here is a leaflet containing them, I have one for everyone. Here," Emmett said, walking around handing them out. I looked at the one he gave me, it was an A3 piece of paper on it was written the following rules:

**NO KILLING**

**No Killing ANYONE. Unless they are really annoying. If you kill theses following people, by 'slipping' on the trigger of a paintball machine or, throwing a laughing gas grenade. Or anything, that would be fine:**

**Mike**

**Eric**

**Jacob**

**Paul**

**Extra points will be awarded if these people are killed. Save me a job.**

**NO MEAN COMMENTS**

**No mean comments. Only if directed at certain people (coincidently the people above).**

**ONLY 1 GUN PER PERSON**

**There will be only 1 REAL gun per team. Only to be shot, or used at certain people (funnily enough the same as above). If named Bella, you can not touch, look at or smell the guns, as you can easily kill someone with your clumsiness. Only the following people can have two REAL guns:**

**Emmett (Me)**

**NO LOVERS REMORSE**

**If pranking your 'other half' you may not show any remorse. Apart from Rosalie for me, because I know you love me RoseyPoo. If you are sad enough not to have a Sex Buddy, or girlfriend/boyfriend like**

**Mike**

**Eric**

**Jacob**

**Paul**

**Aro (love you :D please don't kill me!)**

**Charlie **

**Who will probably NEVER be getting some :) **

I looked up to see if everyone else had read theirs. Everyone's eyes soon lifted to stare at Emmett.

"Any complaints?" Emmett asked innocently.

"Oh. I have one! Let's start with why I am an option to be shot?" Mike asked. Everyone looked at him.

"Mike, have you met yourself?! I mean you aren't the most likable person," Bella said

_Well that hurt more coming from Bella _**Mike **

"Emmett this leaflet thing is utter doggy's poop!" Jacob said. Everyone agreed. Emmett crawled up in a ball and rocked himself making crying sound effects. He started muttering to himself.

"Don't worry Emmett, them 7 hours put towards the leaflet was worth it don't worry. They are just jealous. It will all be fine. Close your eyes, and think happy thoughts," He chanted. Everyone was looking at him. Rosalie bent down to him.

"Emmett, get up. You are seriously losing your Man points." Emmett immediately stopped and jumped up.

_Wow, I should do some press ups or something to gain some Man points. Or better yet kill someone _**Emmett**

I stared at Emmett

_I mean- that would be wrong. _**Emmett**

"Emmett, dude, it took you 7 hours to make this piece of--" Charlie started. Emmett interrupted him

"LEAFLET IT'S A LEAFLET! And yes it took me 7 hours…and a half, but to be fair it took me 6 hours to think of a appropriate title!" Emmett argued. Everyone turned to the front page, to look at the title.

**THE RULES**

"Oh, you have to be kidding me!" Eric said rolling his eyes. Emmett looked down.

"At the time, it seemed good!" Emmett argued. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Okay, can we please sort out the teams. And Emmett stop crying," I said.

"I'm sorry it's just it's so upsetting when people are mean. It hurts me emotionally!" He whined.

"SOOO, moving on, what shall the teams be?" Bella asked.

" I KNOW, Me and **B**ella against everyone else!" Mike shouted. "COULD THERE BE ANY BETTER TEAMS?!" Mike shouted, unnecessarily loud.

"COULD YOU SHOUT ANY LOUDER!" I mocked. Mike nodded,

"WHY YES I CAN!" He shouted back. Everyone plugged their ears.

"Because that was neccasary," Bella said sarcastically.

"I was just showing you how much of a man I am Bella." Mike said. Bella laughed, to my relief.

"Mike come on, your mum still calls you every few hours, to check on you!" Bella said.

"THAT IS A LIE!" His phone began to ring.

**Mike **_Mike's mum_

_Hey Michael Poops_

**Mummy! I am busy! **Mike whined.

_Michael! You are never busy to talk to your mummy!_

**But Muuum! I need to go, sorry bye!**

_DO NOT HANG UP ON ME MICHAEL MONTGOMERY NEWTON! _

**Mum, I am trying to impress this girl**

_Is it that whore? _I growled silently

**No mum! That's Jessica. **Jessica walked up and slapped Mike.

_Oh Michael what was that noise? Have you got a booboo?_

**No mum! Jessica just high fived my face…hard **

_Are you bleeding? Do you want a sticker, which one. Barbie, Thomas the tank engine, the Tweenies? _

**No mum, I have outgrown them *whispers* Barbie ones please.**

***hang up***

"So umm, that was my gym instructor, he was wondering why I wasn't doing my daily 6 hour routine" Mike lied.

"Okay Mike," I said sarcastically.

_She better not confuse Barbie with the person from High School Musical _**Mike**

"So let's get back on track and sort out the teams," Eric said.

"Shut up gay boy! **[A/N: nothing against Gays]** I think we should sort out the teams!" Emmett declared.

"What?! That's what I sa--" Eric started.

"SHUT UP," Emett interrupted.

"Pleasure sir," Eric said,

"So any ideas for teams?" Emmett asked, "Actually I have one! Me, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Aro, Renee, Charlie, Mr Banner, Jessica and Lauren against Paul, Jacob, Eric and Mike," Emmett declared. Everyone laughed.

"No seriously, what should the teams be?" Alice asked.

"Let's pick out of a hat," Emmett suggested.

_Cleverest thing I have ever heard him say _**Alice**

Emmett wrote all the names down and started reaching in the hat.

"First person on my team is Jacob." He declared. "WHAT THE CHICKEN NUGGETS?! THE HAT IS CHEATING. I am NOT being paired up with him!" Emmett demanded.

"Emmett, it's a hat, that YOU are pulling out of, how can it cheat?" Mike asked.

"It's the person that wrote the names! I accuse that person!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, you wrote them down."

"SCREW YOU GUYS!" Emmett said.

10 MINUTES LATER…

"So is everyone happy with their teams?" Emmett asked.

"NOO," most people shouted.

"Good, when I blast this gun, we shall begin," Emmett said. He reached into the air and blasted the gun. Everyone was about to start running. When a plop was heard. Everyone looked down to see what had made the door. There was a bird, dead. **[A/N: sorry bird lovers!] **Emmett bent down and prodded the bird.

"It might be still alive," Mike said,

"What the flip? It's dead, kaput, gone, lifeless, DEAD!" Rosalie said. Carlisle rushed through.

"Make way. I am a doctor!" He walked to the bird. "Yup, it's dead." Carlisle confirmed.

"I feel like we need a funeral or something," Emmett said. Everyone nodded.

"We are here to celebrate the life of the bird, Princess Consuela Banana Hammock." Emmett said. Everyone gave him looks.

"This isn't a good idea, let's just get this thing done." I said. Emmett nodded and kicked the bird out the room **[A/N: I know it's mean :(] **Emmett raised the gun to the air and shot again. Everyone looked at each other.

"that means GO!" Emmett shouted

**it will ve random teams. Review and tell me what you want the teams to be! Teams will be revealed in the next chapter! How you like? Kinda long :D**

**Good idea for the sequel? Tell me what you think?**

**REVIEW REVIEW**

**15 reviews? Let's do it! **


	2. Team1:BellaEmmettJacobAlice

**DISCLAIMER: Me: I would say I own twilight but I feel like being watched *looks around***

**SM: You are being watched…**

**Me: Thought so. For a genious that created twilight you sure are stalkerish!**

**SM: I know!**

**Me: I understand since I am a cool person**

**SM: No I was just following you because I noticed you dropped you piece of paper *gives paper***

**Me: Sure. Anyway back to the disclaimer, I don't own twilight. I would say I do, but I din't have enough money to pay if—when I get sued. Maybe if it was 5 pounds but as soon as it is 2 digit. I don't have enough. So I don't own twilight**

**SM: *round of applause***

**Me: Why are you so happy!**

**SM: because I created Twilight!**

**Me: *sticks middle finger up***

"_This isn't a good idea, let's just get this thing done." I said. Emmett nodded and kicked the bird out the room __Emmett raised the gun to the air and shot again. Everyone looked at each other._

"_that means GO!" Emmett shouted_

**Chapter 2 **

**NO FLAMES**

**BPOV**

Everyone ran off with their teams. Me, Jacob and Alice ran off together. We finally settled in the forest. I looked around.

"Where the hell is that bloodsucking retarded man?" Jacob growled. I shrugged.

"I was thinking the same thing," I said. Jacob smiled. I looked at him hard and shook my head. "Don't say it," I warned. Alice laughed, obviously seeing the future. Jacob smiled wider. I shook my head. "Jakeypoo, I WILL decapitate your head and one of your arms and throw it in the ocean, so when you go to swim for it you will just go round in circles!" I threatened. Jake looked in a trance,

"I didn't hear what you said, after you said Jakeypoo," I rolled my eyes. "But anyway as I was saying, see Bella, great minds think alike, or also _lover's _minds" He said winking.

"I would stick to great minds. Actually that is quite a stretch," I said. Jacob frowned.

" Holy cheese crackers! Stop bickering like old ladies, so where is that dimwitted brother of mine?" Alice said.

"Oh Edward?" Jacob asked. Alice laughed.

"I mean the other brother!" Alice said.

"Ooh," Jacob said. "I am stupid," Jacob then sat down, and broke down crying. I waited for a couple of minutes through awkward silence, I then walked up to Jacob, and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright Jacob, a few more years in kindergarten and you will be smart!" He started crying more. "Oh, I mean, Jacob it was an easy mistake I mean, it's not like Edward is the handsome one and golden brown hair. And Emmett is the steroid influence body building drunk idiot," I said sarcastically.

"Bella, thanks for making him feel better," Alice said. I nodded,

"That's okay. They are tears of happiness." I said smiling. Jacob let out a wail.

"SEE BELLA DOESN'T WANT MEEEEE!" He wailed. I then heard heavy footsteps, the trees vibrated.

"Do I smell wet dog?" Someone's voice boomed. I realised it was Emmett, he soon appeared.

"Where the hell have you been Emmett?!" I said. Emmett smiled.

"I got some supplies." He said smiling. I looked at what he had. I sighed.

"Emmett honestly, please tell us what this stuff- no crap is," I said nicely. Emmett gritted his teeth.

"I will, well this is a highly sophisticated water transferer shooting machine." Emmett said. We nodded,

"Or as us normal people like to call it. A bubble machine," Alice said. Emmett growled.

"NEXT, is a elasticated balloon with transparent liquid," He then held up the item.

"Also as us normal people call it, a water balloon," Jacob said grinning. Emmett growled again. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes,

"It hurts when you question my inner strength, I may look strong physically but mentally. I am weak," Emmett whined. We all stood and watched him for 5 minutes. Emmett then lifted his head up. "Man, I just lost about 500 man points, I better do some press ups," He whispered. Emmett then ran off, he then came in seconds later, covered in water.

"Emmett why are you covered in water?" I said cluelessly. Emmett scoffed.

"It's sweat" I stared at him. "Okay it's water. But I did it for dramatic effect." Emmett muttered. We all sighed.

"Emmett…" Jacob said. Emmett turned to stare.

"That's SIR Emmett to you," Emmett shouted. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"_Sir _Emmet," Jacob said.

"Yes Jakeypoo," I gasped. I know he didn't just nick my nickname for Jacob.

"Why don't you carry on your little presentation," Jake suggested. Emmett looked around

"What kind of idiot would do a presen--- Oh yeah my inventions. So my next invention is a bright light thing inside a glass container." Emmett said holding up a light bulb.

"Yeah, Emmett, you didn't invent that. I swear Isaac Newton did…" [A/N I know it aint] Emmett scolwed.

"He's dead now. He won't mind me taking his idea. Anyway the last thing, I didn't invent It's for when Jakeypoo gets hungry." He cooed. he then lifted up a dog food bag. Jaocb growled loudly and began trembling.

"Jake, you better be trembling because you are cold," I threatened.

"NO, IT'S BECAUSE OF STEROID BOY!" Jacob shouted.

" Why don't people believe me it's natural! I work hard and hard and people accuse me of being fake it hurts!" Emmett started. He then realised what he said. "Shut up Jacob, at least I have a girl!" He debated. Jacob crossed his arms.

"Yeah I do!" He argued. Emmett laughed.

"Jacob, just because you have millions of pictures of a girl. Doesn't make you their girlfriend. As Rosalie told me about Halle Berry." Emmett said looking down.

Jacob burst out crying.

"Wow, Jacob why so sensitive!" I said. He stopped crying

"Don't you like it?" He asked. I shrugged.

"No it's fine." He then continued. I then went up and hugged him.

"YOU DON'T WANT ME!" Jacob said in a strained voice.

"Of course I do Jake." I said. Jake then grabbed me and kissed me on the lips. I attempted to push him off of me. He finally got off of me.

"Not like that…" I muttered. Jacob's phone suddenly rung.

_Who let the dogs out who who who who_

I looked at Jake.

"Private joke between me and the Pack," He said.

"It seems quite obvious to me," I pointed out. Alice laughed. Jacob then picked up his phone.

**Alright homie?**

_GET OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!_

**Ooh you aint my homie *hang up***

"Wow Bella that boyfriend of yours is rather protective. That's why you should get with me!" Jake hinted. I laughed it off. Jacobs phone again.

_She is fine with me thanks *hang up*_

We all looked at eachother. "Holy Mother Ucker! **[Flight of the Conchord stuck in my head (Y)] **it's like he is watching us!" Jacob whispered.

"Quick run, we have been discovered." Someone said. I then heard rustling I looked to the side and noticed a figure, shaped a lot like Edward run through the forest. I rolled my eyes. "Okay, sorry to interrupt but can we plan our prank please?" Alice said. Emmett sighed.

"So impatient!" Emmett said. Alice scowled. Emmett then got out his notebook.

"Martin was revived!" Emmett said **[had to read previous story Prank Calls. Martin is literally Emmett's notebook] **"It was very hard but we did it." Emmett said proudly. I looked at Martin, it was selotaped everywhere and bits of fur missing.

"Wow, Emmett, it looks like it's been through the wars," I said. Emmett shook his head.

"Well no, it's been through a forest actually." I rolled my eyes. Emmett then got out his pen.

"It matches," Emmett squealed. Showing us the pink fluffy bit. "So this is the sophisticated table of scoring. We put the score on the left, the mean on the right and the median right here, in the middle." Emmett started explaining.

"You don't have to act clever Emmett, we know you aren't," Alice soothed. Emmett smiled.

"Good, because I didn't have ONE clue on what I was saying."

"Nice Emmett. So does anyone have any ideas on what prank to do and who one?" I questioned.

"I HAVE ONE!" Jacob shouted. I looked at him.

"One that does not include me snogging you," I said. Jacob smiled. "Or me having any contact with you!" I amended.

"Oh, idea's gone" Jacob said. I laughed.

5 MINUTES LATER…

"So is it agreed?" Emmett said. Everyone nodded. "We will do THE prank?" Emmett said. Jacob paused,

"Wait what's THE prank?" Jacob questioned. Emmett slapped the back of Jacobs head.

"You ruined the dramatic effect! I was building up tension!" Emmett complained.

"Sorry, but what is THE--" Jacob started. Emmett interrupted.

"NO JACOB, IT'S TOO LATE, YOU WEREN'T LISTENING I WILL NOT TELL YOU!" Emmett shouted.

"But, the thing is you didn't tell me the prank!" Jacob pointed out. Emmett shook his head.

"You weren't listening!" Emmett debated.

"Emmett, you wrote it down and passed it to Alice and Bella!" Jacob said,

"You didn't hear the prank? Well you better sleep with one eye open then!" Emmett warned.

"It's midday!" Jacob pointed out.

"I warned you…Anyway ONWARDS WITH THE PRANK!" Emmett commanded.

**Okay so prank war will begin Next chapter.!!!!!!!1 I just thought you would like to see the best team :D Alice, Jacob, Bella and Emmett. **

**Boring? Not funny? Please NO flames. And positive feedback(Y)**

**Too long. Boring? Tell me**

**15 reviews until next update!**


	3. Feathers Paint and Pinky Greennes

**Me: *Glares into sky***

**Stephenie Meyer: So how was your day?**

**Me: *Ignore* Who is that talking?**

**SM: The creator of the twilight saga.**

**Me: What? I am the creator of the twilight saga!**

**SM: Fine you can own twilight.**

**Me: REALLY?**

**SM: *nods***

**Me: REALLY?**

**SM: Nope :)**

**Me: YOU LIARRRRR! Can I just own it for A week?**

**SM: *shakes head* nopers**

**Me: A day? **

**SM: Nopies**

**Me: 0 Days. That's the lowest I will go.**

**SM: Okay then**

**Me: YESSSSSSS *SM walks away* HEY WAIT ACTUALLY!!!**

**_______________________________________________________________**

"_So is it agreed?" Emmett said. Everyone nodded. "We will do THE prank?" Emmett said. Jacob paused,_

"_Wait what's THE prank?" Jacob questioned. Emmett slapped the back of Jacobs head._

"_You ruined the dramatic effect! I was building up tension!" Emmett complained._

"_Sorry, but what is THE--" Jacob started. Emmett interrupted._

"_NO JACOB, IT'S TOO LATE, YOU WEREN'T LISTENING I WILL NOT TELL YOU!" Emmett shouted._

"_But, the thing is you didn't tell me the prank!" Jacob pointed out. Emmett shook his head._

"_You weren't listening!" Emmett debated._

"_Emmett, you wrote it down and passed it to Alice and Bella!" Jacob said,_

"_You didn't hear the prank? Well you better sleep with one eye open then!" Emmett warned._

"_It's midday!" Jacob pointed out._

"_I warned you…Anyway ONWARDS WITH THE PRANK!" Emmett commanded._

**A/N sorry it has been so long since last update! PLEASEEEE help me get 700 reviews for my prank calls story! I just need 5 more reviews! HELP :) I will review every chapter of your stories :)**

**Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

"How can I go onwards with the prank if I don't know it?!" Jacob pointed out. I laughed. Emmett sighed.

"Jacob please, this is very serious, we are about to pull the best prank in the world and you ruin it," Emmett started.

"Emmett, I am on your team, team members have to WORK together!" Jacob said. Emmett glared at me.

"No in my Prank Wars For Dummies That Are Rather Clever But Sound Retarded Inteluctually, it states that every man for himself." Emmett said.

"But how come you told Bella and Alice?" Jacob asked.

"Have Alice and Bella got penises? I thought not so technically speaking they are not men! And the saying is every MAN to himself!" Emmett pointed out. Jacob was reaching for the book, Emmett quickly pulled it away.

"This was stolen, from the library I doubt you would want your finger—no paw prints on this. Wait actually touch it please." Emmett said.

"Oh Emmett you Rebel! Stealing from a place with FREE books! You absolute rebel!" Alice said sarcastically. Emmett giggled.

"Ok enough let's get on with the prank." Emmett said, we all started walking to the door. Emmett nodded, I stuck my leg out. Jacob fell and landed in green paint. He stood up covered in green paint.

"Why did you do that?!" Jacob growled.

"Calm down Wolf boy. I was curious what a green dog looked like.," Emmett said smiling innocently.

"How did you do that?!" Jacob asked. Emmett smiled.

"Well unlike you sweaty puppies, us vampires have speed" Emmett said. Jacob frowned.

"I hate you," Jacob snarled. Bella frowned and wiped her eye. "Not you, Bells I love you, don't be upset I love you. WE WILL BE TOGETHER ONE DAY" He said putting his arm around me. I looked to my right, he was tearing up

"What the hell Jacob? I had something in my eye, I wasn't crying, You on the other hand…" Jacob immediately covered his eye.

"I wasn't crying," He defended. I looked at him. "Fine my eyes were watering because I have a inflammation in my tear gland." He lied. I stared at him. "Sometimes it is good to cry, I mean it's not like I cry every day! I am a real man! Trust me," Jacob whined. I looked at him.

"Jake you cried like 2 minutes ago AND a real man—no a normal person wouldn't cry in Finding Nemo!" I said.

"Bella, that is quite a sad movie," Alice pointed out.

"He cried at the beginning credits," I pointed out.

"Well, it was sad. I mean all them names, shows how much dedication there is. I mean people are so dedicated to a movie, it must of taken them a long time. Just for us public to see. It touches my heart." Jacob said tearing up more. We all laughed.

"Bella will you go out with me?" Jacob randomly asked. I stared at him. He looked deadly serious

"Umm, Jacob you are turning into Mike…I have a boyfriend…"

"He doesn't have to know! We will be at war with him for days. Maybe MONTHS! DON'T LET HIM RUIN WHAT WE HAVE BELLA!" Jacob said falling to his knees. His phone started ringing. It was Paul's voice as a ringtone.

_Yo Yo Jake It's your brother ringing pick up boyyy Pick boy! Yeahh braaaaap fricken chicken licken finger picking. _Jacob blushed and picked it up.

**Jake '**_Paul' _

**Alright Homie**

_I Vant To Suck Your Blood_

**WHAT THE HELL STOP CALLING ME EDWARD!**

_Leave Bella alone Dog! _

**How do you know ? You can't see me**

_Yes but you and Bella in the same room means you flirting! If you touch her I will hunt you down!_

**Oooh I touched her! **He said touching me. "Get off Jacob," I snarled.

_I will hunt you downnnn!_ Emmett reached and grabbed the phone from Jake.

**If you happen to kill him when you are hunting down it will be fine... **Jake snarled.

_As much as that makes me happy i think it is illegal. _

He screeched, and hung up.

"You know Bella sometimes I fell like you are ripping open my heart. Shredding it through the shredder machine. Not once but TWICE! And then you play catch with it, rip chunks out of it and then when you are done you throw it in the bin NOT EVEN THE RECYCLING BIN, so some other slut can come rip it apart again!" Jacob ranted. I looked at him.

"Well I'm sorry that is how you feel." I said. Jacob walked quickly embarrassed.

*BANG*

He fell to the ground, he smashed into the door. Me, Emmett and Alice laughed off.

"Good thing I couldn't see that, that was so funny. At least we know dogs are stupid." I said. Jacob growled at me, he then looked guilty and hugged me and ruffled my hair. I jumped back and started shaking my hair.

"EWWWW FLEASSSSS!!!!" I screeched. Jacob frowned.

"Bella, you know I got rid of all my fleas the other day," Jake whispered sharply to me. I pretended not to hear.

"Pardon, did you just say you got rid of all your fleas the other day!" I shouted,

"Aww my puppy uses shampoo and conditioner," Emmett squealed. "I mean *clears throat* Good one, what one do you use?" Emmett asked,

"Well I got some in the post AGESSS ago and it was really good, it's so good people get jealous and have to leave the room, covering their nose because it smells so good," Jacob said. **[A/N for all that haven't read Prank Calls, Emmett, Bella and Alice made a 'shampoo/ flea remover' for Jacob and sent it to him, This included stuff in like ketchup, celery, onion and more]**

We all snorted. Jacob glared.

"We are snorting of jealousy!" I defended. Jacob smiled.

"Thought so, so can we go prank someone's team" Jacob said. Emmett looked at him.

"Are you sure? You look a bit green, are you okay." Jacob growled.

"Yes I am fine thank you…" Jake said trying to keep calm.

"Let's go pull the main prank on Edward's team!" Emmett shouted.

"I uhh—still don't know what it is…" Jacob said. Emmett looked at him.

"Does this face look like I care Jacob? No it doesn't!" Emmett said. Alice laughed.

"It would be nice if you don't always leave me out you know!" Jacob said on the verge of crying.

"Jeez Jacob, why are you all emotional! I will tell you later!" Alice said.

"Okay then, but can we go back to your house? I left some stuff there." Jacob said.

"Fine…Time waster!" Emmett mumbled.

10 MINUTES LATER…

"Okay we are here. You have 5 minutes to get what you need," Emmett demanded.

**JakePOV**

I started running into the house.

"JAKEEE!" Emmett shouted. I turned back to look at him.

"WHAT SPATULA?!" **[A/N like Dracula :)] **I shouted back.

"THERE MIGHT BE BOOBY TRAPS IN THERE. SO IF WE HEAR YOU SCREAM WE WILL LEAVE WITHOUT YOUU!" Emmett shouted smiling. Such good friends I thought. "Oohh i said boobie," Emmett giggled immaturely.

I quickly ran in the house, with a wounded heart. I walked into Emmett's room, as I walked in pink paint poured over my head. I squealed. I walked into the bathroom about to wash it off, pink and silver feathers fell on my head, sticky to the paint. I walked in the bathroom and went in the shower, I screamed a girl was in there.

"Sorry!" I apologised.

"Get out you pedophile!" she screamed. I smiled and realised I was alone with a pretty lady, from what I saw. I walked back in a stepped into the shower 4 people were in there. Carlisle, Edward, Aro and Mike. They snapped a photo and smiled. I was covered in pink paint and pink and silver feathers. Not to meantion the fluorescent green paint. I growled.

"Oh no, he is getting angry. Step back he has a – A FEATHER quick he might tickle us to death!" Mike said sarcastically.

"Good one Mike, but shut up remember." Edward said lightly slapping Mike.

"Well just think about it! I am with your girl Edward, guess what we do ALL NIGHT LONG?" I said slyly and winking.

"Jake you FLOSS all night long…" Edward pointed out. I looked down.

"Well sorry if it is hard to eat wolf meat without getting some in your teeth!" I complained. Edward gasped.

"They could be your relative," Aro joked. Mike looked confused, he finally kind of got it.

"Oh he looks like a wolf haa good one. I can see the likeness!" Mike said. Edward nodded,

"The likeness is unbelievably shocking!" He said. Carlisle, Edward, Aro and Mike stepped out the shower and Edward shouted

"RUNNNNN,ahhh" screeching like a girl, the others looked at him.

"We must leave with style." Aro said. They all nodded, and threw some dust in my eye.

"Oww," I gradually opened them they had disappeared. "Wooo how did they do that?!" I then heard footsteps. Mike appeared through the door with a dust pan and brush and started collecting up the dust they threw.

"Mustn't litter now should we," He said sweeping it up. I rolled my eyes and exited the bathroom. I heard carlisle's distant voice.

"SEE THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD DITCH MIKE!!!" I heard mumbles of agreement. I walked downstairs and walked back to the car, which was surprisingly still there. Bella and Alice laughed. Emmett just stared.

"There is something different… wait don't tell me." I rolled my eyes. Emmett's eyes then went wide. "Did they do this to you?" Emmett said.

"Noooo, I rolled in a pool filled with paint and feathers." I said sarcastically. Emmett nodded.

"Oh okay then, that's a bit stupid."

"I was joking…" I said. Emmett frowned.

"Oh no they didn't" He said with a girls diva voice.

"Oh yes they did!" I replied.

"Oh no they didn't" Emmett repeated.

"Oh yes they did." I replied.

"Oh no they---" Emmett started, Alice interrupted him.

"Emmett I think by now you can tell they did…" She said. Emmett crossed his arms.

"oooohhh it's onnnnn nowww." Emmett said. Alice nodded.

"Damn right it is! The claws are coming out!" Alice said.

**Woohoooo Chapter 3 finally got round to updating!!!!!!!!! PRANKS STARTING FROM NEXT CHAPTER. GIVE ME SOME IDEASSSSSSS :) wohooo. My birthday soon!!!!!!!!! Wohoooooooooooo HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee :) lmaooo**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW NEXT UPDATE 10 REVIEWS**


	4. Emmett's Lair & The Makeover Part Uno

_**SORRY it's been SOOOOO long! It's been my birthday :) and I have had heaps of homework :( I will try to update more :) loveyouguys!!!!!!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight!!!! :( **_

"_There is something different… wait don't tell me." I rolled my eyes. Emmett's eyes then went wide. "Did they do this to you?" Emmett said._

"_Noooo, I rolled in a pool filled with paint and feathers." I said sarcastically. Emmett nodded._

"_Oh okay then, that's a bit stupid."_

"_I was joking…" I said. Emmett frowned._

"_Oh no they didn't" He said with a girls diva voice._

"_Oh yes they did!" I replied._

"_Oh no they didn't" Emmett repeated._

"_Oh yes they did." I replied._

"_Oh no they---" Emmett started, Alice interrupted him._

"_Emmett I think by now you can tell they did…" She said. Emmett crossed his arms._

"_oooohhh it's onnnnn nowww." Emmett said. Alice nodded._

"_Damn right it is! The claws are coming out!" Alice said._

Chapter 4

**BPOV**

"Yeah we gunna kill them bitches." Emmett said. Soulja boy started blaring out. Emmett got up and started dancing. "Aww hell naww they know my dance oh yeahhh." We all looked at him and his phone. He reached in his pocket,

"Ohh I should get that," Emmett said reaching in. "Oh it's Mike" I ran over and grabbed the phone.

"DON'T ANSWER IT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU ANSWER IT" I warned. Emmett then pressed the green button.

"Oops," He said whislt smiling. I slapped him with as much force as I could get.

"You actually asshole!" I snarled.

**Emmett**_**Mystery caller (mike) **__Random stranger_

_**Hello Mr Cullen This is the pizza delivery just to tell you that your order of three hundred tonnes of pizza is coming. **_Someone that then sounded a lot like Edward talked in the background

_Mike I swear to god if you are ringing someone—oh holy banoffee what the mother fudging are you doing?! Hang up that phone. Hang it up now! Mike I swear to god!_

I heard faint footsteps, I then heard Mike's voice again.

_**Hello Mr Cullen sorry, I was chased by…a pizza**_

_Mike he knows it's you!_

_**Shhhhhhh sorry Mr cullen that was the umm pizza**_

**Yeah Mike okay byeee!**

_**How did you know it was me?**_

**Your caller ID**_**…**_

_**It came up with Mike? Aww mannnnn,**_

**Well it came up with 'Stalker Bella lover' but technically that's you**

_**I hate you! My feelings have been crushed. **_

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez what does he want! Why the hell did we let him participate in this pointless war?" I said

_**Is that Bella? Bella my love Bella! I LOVE YOUUU marry me!**_

_Mike yeah, her future husband RIGHT here. Yup _

_**Get over it Edward she loves me!**_

We then heard in the background footsteps and a slapping noise, the phone then hung up. We all laughed.

"And that is how not to prank call someone!" I said. Everyone nodded in agreement. Let's go start our first prank!

"yeah you still haven't told me…" Jacob said.

"FOR THE LOVE THAT IS HOLY! WE WILL NOW HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF TODAY PLANNING A NEW PRANK!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW WOLFY?!!" Emmett shouted.

"can't you just tell me the original prank?" Jacob asked. Emmett gasped.

"Oh lordy lordy lordy Bella he did not just say that did he? I know he wouldn't say that?" Emmett said astonished

"Why can't you tell me?" Jacob asked. Emmett's eyes went wide.

"OH HOLY HELL! JACOB GO…GO NOWW!" Emmett shouted. Jacob looked down and walked away. "Dear god that wolf is annoying where does he think you are going? JACOB COME BACK HERE!" Emmett shouted. Jacob soon appeared.

"Here to your service," He said smiling. We all walked out the room and Jake followed. As we started walking something fell out of Emmett's pocket. Being a gentleman Jacob picked it up and was about to give it back but gasped.

"Emmett what the hell is this!" Jacob said astonished. Emmett looked over his shoulder.

"OH it's me and Rosalie's sex postitions" He said.

"No Emmett THIS book," Jake said showing him the book. Emmett breathed in quickly.

"Oh yeah that." Emmett said. We all decided to read it. On the front it was decorated with guns, bomb and knives and in big black letters were

**HOW TO KILL JACOB BLACK**

We opened it and started reading. It was covered in Emmett's black writing with a pen. It was covered in ideas on how to kill Jacob Black. However on the first page it was **why** Emmett wanted to kill him we skimmed through some.

**He's gay**

**He's gay**

**He's gay**

**He's gay**

**And He's gay**

"Emmett I'm not gay and stating that for pages is not a good reason to kill me!" Jacob debated. Emmett turned the page

"There's more." After a few more 'He's gay' there were more reasons

**He is hitting on my sister**

**He is a horny little boy**

**He has BADDDD fashion sense**

After finishing that page we turned over.

"Emmett this is cutting me deep man," Jacob said. The next page was now HOW to kill him. I got out my pen.

"I might take some tips…" I said Jake gave me the evils I just smiled back.

**Get a chainsaw. Slice in half, put in black bag and keep under my bed**

**A knife and peirce through heart, twist it then yank out…hopefully taking the heart with it.**

**Blow his head off, start a fire, dance round the fire and eat chicken pieces while watching him burn**

**Get silver thingy**

Jake interrupted us… "Emmett silver doesn't effect me." Emmett shrugged and shut the book.

"that's enough." He declared. Jacob agreed.

"Emmett why are they so brutal?" He asked. Emmett looked at him.

"You're a wolf…I needed to make them a bit more violent…but not too extreme." He answered. We all nodded.

"Not extreme at all…" I said sarcastically.

"Enough chit chat Hurry my peasants we must walk to my lair!" Emmett said. We all looked at him.

"Emmett since when did you have a lair?!" Alice said. Emmett looked at her.

"Girll, now I have told you over and OVER. I stress the OVER in that sentence! Well my lair…which I have! Down this road, round the corner, up the hill, underground, three miles west then turn around and BAM." Emmett said while dancing. "Let's GO THERE!" He said, we all shook our heads.

"No Emmett! We have planning!" Alice said firmly. Emmett's eyes widened. "Oh noo," Alice whispered seeing what will come next. Emmett crumbled to the floor.

"why? I have feelings! It's always Emmett Emmett Emmett! It hurts! I have feelings. It hurts…it really hurts! It saddens me.." Emmett said tearing up. Alice approached him.

"Emmie…" she started but before she could finish Emmett interrupted her

"Don't touch me. My heart it stings. Just leave me alone!" He whined. Alice flinched back. I went in for the hug. Emmett hugged me back

"Emmie puss it's fine!" I reassured.

"I know but it's hard…" He said he then sniffed and rubbed his nose in my jumper. Things to do: Clean jumper… I said making a note to myself"Emmett lets go to your lair then," I said. Emmett smiled and he grabbed me and ran to his lair, it looked like tescos.

"Emmett I'm sure your not aloud to linger around these shops…" I said.

"Ohh no I was just hungry" He said smiling weirdly. We rolled our eyes.

"Emmett for the LAST TIME YOU CAN'T EAT!!!!" we all shouted. Emmett looked down.

"He can't but I can!" Jacob said running in.

5 MINUTES LATER…

He came running out with a microwave, a sheild and a porkchop.

"I have to cook it. I have a weak immune system! And I need protection" we all sighed.

"Jake I somehow think a shield won't protect from what Emmett has planned for you…for example a bomb… yeah that won't work" Alice said.

"Oh let me get something…wait there." Jake said feeling around his body, in his pockets and everything he then just stuck his middle finger up. "Ohh here it is…!" He said smiling. Alice growled.

"Enough chinwagging" Emmett said dragging us to his 'lair' he cover all our eyes – how I have no idea –

"Don't peek," he said cutely.

"We won't" Jacob said sweetly.

"Okay look" Emmett said. I opened my eyes.

"Emmett…this is a random road next to my house…" I said. Emmett glared.

"No it's not…STOP RUINING IT BELLA!" Emmett whined. I felt guilty.

"Oh sorry I mean…where is it? Who knows it's like Narnia…is it france? Spain? No one knows!" I said. Emmett then smiled.

"we shall sit here on the pavement and plan our prank!" Emmett said running and sitting on the pavement. "See that!" He said pointing, "That's my fire breathing dragon.

"Emmett...that's a mouse choking on a cashew nut..." Alice said. we all sat down.

"We look like right hobo's" I muttered.

**EPOV**

We had all planned our prank and had started making our way to Eric's team lair to pull the prank.

"Ooooh I'm vibrating…" I said shocked, everyone looked at me.

"Edward, that's not normal…" Mike said. I looked at him.

"Really ooooh… I didn't know that. I thought people vibrate every now and again!" I said sarcastically. Mike didn't catch the sarcasm

"Some people do I guess when the use a dild------ I mean um nothing well obviousl—shut up mike okay yeah um oh dear lord!!!! Ahhh monkeys" Mike said. We all gave him weird looks, he lowered his head.

"So I will check my text that I just got…" I said looking at my phone.

**From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Ohh I love being with Bella ;)**

I snarled and quickly text back.

**To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Touch her your DEAD :)**

I soon got a reply.

**From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Oops too late… :)**

I text him back

**To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Don't be jealous but think I am in her room ALL night long ;)**

I then drifted off thinking what I SHOULD do- no Edward Anthony Masen Cullen clean thoughts! Mike's thoughts then interrupted me

_Bella ohh she is too sexy… but not as sexy as Miss Letry! She is fine! She is looking good for a 87 year old! I'd tap that. Why is Edward looking at me…ohhh I lurveeee him. _**Mike**

Jacob then text me back.

**From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Ohh Bella just saw the message! Shame I was just WAVING the text in her faceee… she seems a bit angry I might COMFORT HER**

I sent him back 3 simple words

**To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Go fuck yourself**

He then text back much to my annoyance.

**From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)**

**Oh that's Bella's job ;)**

With that I slid my phone back in my pocket.

"oooh we are here." Aro said speedily walking towards the door of Eric's house. The door was surprisingly open, I then realised why, there was a bucket of water on the door.

"Uglyness before prettiness," I said to Mike. Mike looked at me weird and then walked in

***SPLASH***

"Ohh …watch out for the water…" I said smiling Mike gritted his teeth.

"You saw and let me go first?" Mike said upset. I nodded.

"You don't know how long it takes me to get my hair done in the mornings…!" As soon as I said that we were all grabbed and shoved in a chair and tied at high speeds. We all opened our eyes and we were tied to chairs.

"Yay I knew we were first to pull the first prank!" A voice said. I looked around it was Rosalie, Jessica, Renee, Charlie.

"Now Edward and co-" Rosalie started but Mike interrupted.

"CO?! We are called flipping co?! we have names! Michael Newton!!!!!! Don't call me Co!" Mike protested.

"Okay Edward, Mike and co." Rosalie started Aro and Carlisle coughed. "would you like cough medicine for that?" Rosalie snarled. Aro and Carlisle snarled back.

"SOOOOOOO we will give you a makeover you pretty boys!" Jessica said while smiling.

"Greatt I can now cancel my make up appointment!!" mike said. Everyone looked at him. "What…" We all ignored him.

"Renee, Charlie. I am going out with your daughter have some pity please" I begged. Charlie smiled

"Your probably gunna get my daughter pregnant soon…don't think of that as an ok! But still she probably is…we need our fun!" He approached me with lipstick and a make up bag. Oh crap. I thought. They approached all of us.

"I swear to god. If you put too much foundation on me!I just hate lines…make it even" Mike threatened. Jessica smiled.

"I will try." She said as she shoved a bucket of flour over Mike. Mike squealed.

**OKAY SO TRUST ME NOT EVERY PRANK WILL BE LIKE THIS FACE TO FACE! MOST WILL BE LIKE SILLY ONES (y) PLESE REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PROPEER PRANKS STARTING FOR DEFO NEXT CHAPPY!**

**GIVE ME PRANKS! NO PRANKS NO UPDATES!!!!**

**10 REVIEWS?**

**NEXT UPDATE 10****TH**** NOVEMBER. WANT ANY SOONER? REVIEW AND ASK OR PM ME :) I DON'T MIND DON'T THINK YOU ARE BEING RUDE!!!!**


	5. The Makeover Part Dos

**Stephenie Meyer: Say it *glares.**

**Me: I own nothing :( All belongs to you**

**Stephenie Meyer: HAAAAHAAA I recorded it! So now I will**

**Always own it mwahahahah!**

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I have been super busy**

**And writing 4 stories isn't clever :P 10 reviews?**

**PLEASE NO FLAMES**

**Previously**

"_SOOOOOOO we will give you a makeover you pretty boys!" Jessica said while smiling._

"_Greatt I can now cancel my make up appointment!!" mike said. Everyone looked at him. "What…" We all ignored him._

"_Renee, Charlie. I am going out with your daughter have some pity please" I begged. Charlie smiled_

"_Your probably gunna get my daughter pregnant soon…don't think of that as an ok! But still she probably is…we need our fun!" He approached me with lipstick and a make up bag. Oh crap. I thought. They approached all of us._

"_I swear to god. If you put too much foundation on me!I just hate lines…make it even" Mike threatened. Jessica smiled._

"_I will try." She said as she shoved a bucket of flour over Mike. Mike squealed._

_Chapter 5_

**_If your a mike fan i suggest you not read this :L No offence intended i love mike! _**

EPOV

"Now guys was that really neccasary?" Mike whined.

"Yeah guys, you are just mean," Carlisle said. "That was not neccasary!" Carlisle defended. A tear fell down Mike's eye.

"Carlisle, for you to stick up for me like this. I now think of you as a dad." Mike said through weeping, "Hello daddy," he cooed. Carlisle looked at Mike.

"Mike I'm not defending you it's just torture to see you look worse than normal," Carlilse said.

"Yeah, and I thought he couldn't get any worse!" Aro agreed, " but I was mistaken!" Aro exclaimed. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Hello I am RIGHT here!" Mike said through tears, "You guys are so mean!" Mike said,

"Mike your eyes are leaking," I pointed out. Mike rolled his eyes,

"Thanks brother," Mike said smiling weakly.

"Wooo back up back up, ignoring the sarcasm,. Mike I am not your brother. Let me explain," I explained. "Jessica give me your pocket dictionary," Jessica then passed her the dictionary to me, I opened it and read the definition. "Brother: someone that has the same parents as you and of blood relation." I read. I closed the dictionary and gave it back to Jessica. "Thank you Jessica," I thanked, Jessica grasped the dictionary.

"Edward Cullen touched MY dictionary, can you sign it please?" Jessica sighed, everyone looked at her. "Okay maybe later…" she said.

"Anywayy…Now mike we do not have the same parents and we do not have the same BLOOD!! Okay our BLOOD is different" I explained. Mike looked sad.

" Can you stop saying blood it's freaky," Mike asked. I smiled slyly.

"Okay because that's what will be pouring out of you if you touch my girlfriend," I said smiling. Mike shivered.

"You can't stop love but tell her to restrain herself from touching me, because I prefer my blood_ inside_ of me," Mike said, I growled. "Oh I'm getting a text," he announced, "I bet it's from my wife" Mike said winking, he pulled it out of his pocket. I peeked over.

_**In reply to your previous text message: I love you Wifey :) xxx **_

**From: My wife Bellsy Boo**

**Mike…Leave…Me…Alone Okay**

**Love From Your Not And Never Ever Will Be Wife ****Bella**** NOT BELSY BOO! :) x (the kiss is for sympathy!)**

I snorted.

"So Mike who is it from?" Jessica asked. Mike covered my ears.

"Oh it's from my wife Bella, she says she loves me a lot, but not to tell Edward so shhhh," He whispered. I rolled my eyes, as did everyone else.

"You wish Mike," I whispered below my breath.

"Okay guys stop fighting over Bella, let's carry on with our prank," Jessica ordered.

"Guys we don't have long because Paul and Bella's team could come here at any moment, so let's skip the whole, tie you up with ropes and just sit you down here and you tie yourself up. Kapeesh?" Jessica said, she then grabbed Mike and sat him down on a chair,

"Woo watch the face it's the money maker," Mike warned. Everyone looked at him.

"Yes he is correct, people look at his face and pay him to go towards his plastic surgery!" I said. Everyone laughed. Mike gave us all the evils.

5 MINUTES LATER…

Me, Mike, Aro and Carlisle were all tied up to chairs, well Aro wasn't. Great, I thought.

_You would think a grown up could tie himself up _**Charlie**

_He's been on this world for how long and he still can't tie knots? That's like Mike! _**Rosalie**

_I understand his problems! I still can't perfect the art of knotting strings _**Mike**

"Aro how old are you?" Charlie asked. Aro thought for a bit.

"30" Aro said ashamed.

_Had to knock a couple of zeros off of that _**Aro**

"And you still can't do up your shoes?" Renee said.

"Well I'm sorry but I'm not used to tying _myself_ up. And lady lemme tell you VELCRO is the new style!" Aro said.

"Okay guys on with our prank," Jessica declared. As soon as she said that Bella's group walked through the door.

"PRANK WAR BEGINS!!!" Bella shouted. Jessica sighed angrily.

_Can't someone do a prank in peace? _**Jessica **

"Bella my love!!!! I love you! Come to me!!" me and Mike said in unison.

Jessica stormed to the door. Waving her finger,

"no, no, no, no, you know I love you guys…well not you bella but I am trying to say as nice as I can. CAN WE PLEASE PULL THE FIRST PRANK IN PEACE!!!" she fumed and started pushing them all out. Once she got them out she locked the door. "Okay let's cover them in make up now guys," Jessica said enthuastically.

**Jessica'sPOV**

I was working on Mike; his face was covered in flour, I then put red lipstick on his eyelashes.

"Excuse me, that is lipstick! It does not go on my eyelashes!!" Mike said squealing. "Your going to ruin my face." He whined. I laughed.

"I said I was going to put make up on you, I didn't say I was going to put it on _right _and I am making your face better Mike!" I pointed out.

"Mike she is telling the truth trust me," Edward said from his seat, his face was covered in fake tan and blue lipstick, I refrained myself from laughing. "Don't," Edward said glaring, as if he could read my mind. I then got my face paint and started painting black stripes across his face. This was ace.

"This is boring I am going to read my book," Edward announced loudly. He reached in his book and got a little book out with knives and guns on the front.

"Aww let's read I'm bored here!" Mike whined.

"Ummm I don't really want to show you…" Edward said. Mike moaned. Curious, I walked over and looked at the book. It read:

**HOW TO KILL MICHAEL NEWTON**

Laughing I took out a pad of paper and a pen.

"Let me get some notes!" I said writing swiftly. Edward nodded,

"Okay, we need all the help we can get." Edward agreed. Everyone soon came over, Aro and Carlisle hopping over on their chair.

"Guys I want to seee," Mike whined. Once everyone looked at the title everyone got their paper out and started writing notes.

"Whoever wrote this is a genious!" I said.

"Emmett did! Thank him" Edward said. "He locked himself in his room and wrote all these books to do with……this" he continued. "Jacob, Mike, Eric, Mr Banner, Lauren, there is loads. He is trying to make a saga, something like that." He said. Jessica's eyes went wide.

"You have one on Lauren?!" I asked astonished. They looked at me.

"Oh sorry I know she's your best fri--" Carlisle started. I then interrupted.

" No it's fine, do you think he will give me 15? I could sell them high and I might need one," I said innocently smiling. Everyone looked shocked.

"Okay I'll text him." Edward said. I started reading the book quickly…

**HOW TO KILL MICHAEL NEWTON**

**Point in the air and claim there is a butterfly, dig a hole and let him fall into it.**

I should try and get a spade. I thought to myself.

**Die his hair pink, he will be so excited he will run into a wall, then scoop up his body and shove him in a cupboard.**

I carried on reading all the different ways. Not noticing Mike coming over he read the title of the book.

"WHAT?! YOU HAVE A BOOK ON HOW TO KILL MICHAEL NEWTON?! That is so mean poor Michael!" Mike exclaimed. We all looked at him. Being dumb is okay, but Mike is past the boundary, he is so far he can't even see it, I thought myself.

"Yeah it's by Emmet" Edward said cautiously. Everyone walked and hopped back to there places. I then began looking for the toenail clipper to curl his eyelashes with. Mike then gasped really loud.

"Michael Newton…I know who that is!" he said. Finally the ball drops, I thought along with everyone else "That's that kid in school in the 9th grade!" he said. Everyone sighed. I saw Edward mouth 'What the fuck'. everyone ignored Mike's stupidness and we carried on with the prank.

10 MINUTES LATER….

**MPOV**

"Okay, we are done," Jessica announced. They handed us all mirrors. I looked at myself. I didn't look quite bad. I had nicely toned foundation, pink lipstick and flowing brown hair…wait BROWN?!

"WHATTT HAVE YOU DONEE!!!" I screamed. Jessica came running over and smiled, her smiled soon vanished when she saw my mirror.

"Mike, you idiot, that's a picture of Bella, the mirror is on the other side," She said. Everyone was looking at me.

"Wait you didn't let me finish… I meant to say 'aaaaaah What have you donee?! It's beautiful'" I said trying to recover myself. I then flipped the mirror around and screamed louder! I looked awful. Worse than my uncle/auntie (no one knows if she's a he or he's a she).

"What the hell have you done to me?!" I screeched. I then heard multiple screams from Edward, Carlisle and Aro " My day could not get ANY worse!" I sighed. My phone then vibrated in my pocket. I looked to look at it.

**From: My wife Bellsy Boo**

**Mike. Thanks for insulting me! **

I looked around.

"How did she know?!" I asked astonished, I then gasped. "Maybe we have a _lover's connection_!" I suggested. Aro shook his head and pointed and Edward who was waving his phone around.

"No it's called _text _connection" Edward said. I growled at him, but it sounded more like a squeal. I then got another text.

**From: My wife Bellsy Boo**

**You're dumped.**

"Edward she sent me a text saying I'm dumped but I think it was meant for you…" I said. I then got another text.

**From: My wife Bellsy Boo**

**No Mike. It's for you. We may of never been together. But now I have written it down maybe THE MESSAGE WILL GET THROUGH YOUR FAT HEAD! :) And your dumped as a friend **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," I screamed. I paused. "Wait she still put a kiss at the end. Maybe she still loves me!" I protested. Edward took a look.

"No Mike, that's not a kiss…that's a spaghetti stain…" He pointed out. I cursed inwardly.

"Damn my mum's scrumptious spaghetti!" I said scraping it off the screen and licking it. I then went back to screaming, "NOOOOOO…

5 MINUTES LATER…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Mike, are you ready? TO GET OVER IT!" Edward screamed. I wiped my eyes.

"Oh well it's her loss," I wept. Everyone rolled their eyes. They then untied us.

"So we're off. Have fun, with your new looks," Charlie said skipping off with everyone. Just before they got out the door, Jessica turned around and sweetly shouted.

"By the way there permanent so it will be on there for about a week," She said smiling sweetly. All our mouths hung open as the door closed. We looked horrible.

I had red eyelashes, a white face, pink lipstick and black stripes across my face.

Edward had dark fake tan, blue lipstick and pink ribbons tied securely in his hair and permanent marker pen across his forehead saying 'EDWINA THE BALLERINA'

Aro had blonde hair, blue blusher and a drawn on moustache and beard.

Carlisle had a sign on his head saying 'I AM A CLEVER DOCTER!' with the 'R' backwards. He also had paint over his lips and purple eyeshadow.

Oh didn't we look stunning, i thought sarcastically.

"Great, we are sitting in Eric's house with crap all over our faces! Could we look any stupider?!" Aro growled. We all agreed. As I was about to speak paint spilled over all of us.

"Well obviously we can," Edward moaned. I was covered in red, Edward blue, Aro yellow and Charlie green. Noticing the likeness of the colours I squealed.

"Ooooh we're all JLS!!! I'm ORTISE!!!! Wooo he is buff stuff!" I said running around. Everyone whispered gay but I carried on running around.

[A/N I hope you know JLS are a british pop group and they all have colours :)]

"Great we are sitting in a room with a gay boy running around covered in red paint and 3 vampires sitting in little chairs with loads of make up. Could it get any wo---" Carlisle started but they all interrupted him.

"Don't say it!" Aro shouted, but it was too late, pink feathers came and fell and stuck on all of us, even me who was running around like a retard. Great now we were pink birds! This really did suck! We really need to think of a way to get them back.

**Hope you likey!!! :) any idea for next chappy?!!!!! **

**Favourite chappy? Favourite part? Favourite joke? Favourite team?**

**Please NO FLAMES**

**Review review review!**


	6. Condoms, Fajitas & Missunderstandings

**Disclaimer: I don't and never will own twilight all is owned by Stephenie Bloody Meyer :'(**

**A/N: Hope you like. Sorry for the delay, school runs my life :/ ENJOY**

**Previously**

_"Great we are sitting in a room with a gay boy running around covered in red paint and 3 vampires sitting in little chairs with loads of make up. Could it get any wo---" Carlisle started but they all interrupted him._

_"Don't say it!" Aro shouted, but it was too late, pink feathers came and fell and stuck on all of us, even me who was running around like a retard. Great now we were pink birds! This really did suck! We really need to think of a way to get them back._

**AroPOV**

"Any ideas on how we can get them back?" I asked. Mike looked at me worried.

"Sorry Mr Aro sir but there seems to be a _girl _in our presence," He said worried. We all looked around trying to spot the intruder. I couldn't see anyone,

"Mike what are you talking about?" I asked,

"She is like 2 feet away…she could kill us all! Okay everyone calm down. I SAID CALM DOWN GOD DAMN IT!!" He screamed. By now everyone was getting annoyed with Mike, as we could not see the 'girl'.

"Mike, that's a squirrel," I said poiting out the window,

"To be fair guys, he hasn't seen many women before…you know apart from his mum; who we're not really sure about, if you know what I mean…" Carlisle said winking and laughing. We all laughed.

"Guys I don't mean that girl! I know what a girl looks like she has long flowing hair and umm…I don't want to say, it's rude. Boobie, I said it" Mike started laughing uncontrollably, after about 5 minutes he straightened up and cleared his throat. "Anyway I mean that girl!" He said pointing at Edward. I sighed.

"Who me?!" Edward said high pitched, pointing to himself. Mike turned to look at me,

"She _speaks," _Mike whispered. Is Mike really serious?! I hit him round the head.

"That girl is Edward you douche!!" I said.

"Ow. Sorrry, it's just all the make up and stuff…" Mike said with his head down, he grabbed his phone and quickly took a photo, "Faaceboook," Mike sang, Edward looked up and growled. Carlisle held him back, because I'm pretty sure he would of killed Mike. If only….

"Edward calm down, Mike only has 7 friends on facebook! No one will see it! And plus what you look like now is better than what he looks like on a daily basis!" Carlisle told him.

"Actually I have NINE friends on facebook!" Mike defended.

"Ooooh popular," I muttered.

"Mike, your dog and mum don't count…" Edward said. Mike blushed.

"MOVING OOOOON, let's find a way to prank these bitches" I announced. Edward smiled evilly,

"I have the perfect plan!" Edward muttered. "It will be great!" He continued. As we all listened to Edward's idea the smiles on our faces grew bigger and bigger.

"Mwahahah," Mike cackled. We all looked at him.

"Too far Mike. Too far," I said, silencing him with a glare. Mike muttered an apology. "Okay let's get started, first we need to find some sacks for our faces…"

"I have some at home!" Mike shouted,

"Of course you do, I mean to live with that face you need to have the right things in order to cover that _thing_," Edward said understandably. Mike looked at him astonished.

"No my mum went grocery shopping yesterday…" Mike then frowned.

"Mike, turn that frown upside down," Carlisle sang. Mike then smiled, he looked even worse than when he was frowning. "No you know what, keep frowning…I would like to keep my eyes safe." Carlisle said. We started making our way to Mike's house.

"Before we do our master plan. We MUST watch this movie; it's called new moon!" Mike said excitedly.

**BellaPOV**

"Okay let's prank someone!" I said.

"The time is not right!" Emmett said for the billionth time. He thinks that we need to play a prank on particular days.

"Emmett can we play a LITTLE prank!" I begged, he shook his head.

"The time is not right," Emmett said calmly,

"Emmett, when will the time be?!" Jake said getting annoyed. There was then a ringing noise, I then realised it was the microwave. Emmett jumped up,

"Ooooh my fajitas!" Emmett squealed "Now is the time" he said running into the kitchen. We all sighed and rolled our eyes, he returned with about 30 fajitas,

"Emmett that's a lot of fajitas…" I said, he just shrugged. "Where did you get them form?" I questioned. Emmett tried to look all innocent,

"Well let's just say that 5 star restaurant down the road will report some missing fajitas, and two of their staff," He started, everyone looked at Emmett when he mentioned the two staff members, he quickly defended himself. "Well they said I couldn't take any so I chained them to a lamppost," he finished quickly scoffing down his fajitas.

"Emmett you don--" Alice started.

"SHUT UP ALICE!!!! They are niiice!" Emmett whined.

"I am really hungry," Jake commented aloud staring at the fajitas. Emmett glared at him,

"Don't think about it mutt." Emmett stated simply, Jake began to laugh. "I'm seirous dog I will ram you through that wall…" Emmett threatened.

_They suure look nice _I thought to myself. Emmett, as if he could hear my thoughts glared at me,

"Don't think about it either Swan." Scared I clung on to Alice.

"Don't worry things won't end to well for him," Alice whispered to me laughing.

"Screw this," Jake whispered and quickly stuck out his hand and grabbed a fajita, quick enough Emmett grabbed Jake; dropping the fajitas on his lap.

"Go on mutt eat it, put it in your mouth…_I dare you_" Emmett sneered evily, Jake without a second thought popped it in his mouth. Emmett's eyes turned murderous he lifted Jake up and smashed through the wall with Jake tight in his grip. "How was that mutt?" Emmett sneered. Jake smiled, clearly not affected by that, Emmett looked at him in disbelief. Emmett raised Jake by the neck; I would of stopped Emmett but this was too damn entertaining,

"You will regret _ever _looking at, breathing in, touching and eating my fajita!" Emmett shouted, as he was about to launch Jake in the sky he collapsed on the floor. He ran quickly ran to the bathroom screaming, "Why didn't you stop me from eating this!!!"

We all laughed.

5 MINUTES LATER…

Emmett soon entered,

"Okay it's all good," He got out his phone, "Damn look at that wall, better tell Esme," He started texting.

_Dear Mummy Esme_

_I was sitting playing scrabble with Bella_

_Learning new volcalbulary when Jake got all angry_

_And he rammed me into the wall. Now it needs fixing;_

_I told you not to let dogs in the house…_

_From Your Emmy bear xXx_

"All sorted" Emmett said smiling.

"Okay then…let's prank call someone!" I jumped up and down. Emmett suddenly jumped up,

"It's coming again…" He moaned running to the bathroom. We all laughed as I got out my phone.

"So who shall be the victim? I asked.

"Mr Banner," Jake said smiling.

"Excellent choice Jake, good boy," Alice said ruffling his hair. Jake growled. I started dialling Mr Banner number, hiding my number. I began to talk in a English accent.

**Mr Banner **_Bella, Emmett, Jacob & Alice_

**Hello…**

_Hello Timothy Banner…?_

**It's penolope Banner **we all began laughing, it was too hard to control it. **My mum really wanted a girl okay! Don't judge.**

_Too late for that Imma afraid._

**Anyway what do you want?!**

_Oh Sorry this is the british condom factory_

**THERE'S A BRITISH CONDOM FACTORY?! I searched the internet but they said it didn't exist!!! I am a golden member of the South American Condom factory, North America Condom Factory, Australia Condom Factory, Asia Condom Factory AND The African Condom Factory!!! **Wow… we all looked at each other. Who would of thought Mr Banner was obsessed with condoms!

_Well umm…that's nice. Well anyway your order of a hundred condoms will be delivered soon. _

**A HUNDRED…ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME?! **Mr Banner was shouting, just then a voice was heard in the back ground, we assumed it was one of his kids. **[A/N: I know he doesn't have kids but shhh]**

**Oh don't worry darling, just one of my students got a hundred percent in a test… yeah go to your room sweety. *pause* Anyway a hundred?! I ordered a thousand!! **

_Sorry sir…_

**This always happens! You always use the same excuse as to why you deliver less than I ordered. 'They fell out the truck' or 'me and my wife got bored in the traffic jam' **

_So we shall deliver the condoms shortly sir_

**About time, I am running out of them**

_But you never use them sir, I can tell by your voice that your not that sexy_

**Well I'll have you know I am very attractive…Loads of people fancy me I mean for example Edward Cullen, he fancies the pants off me. Everyone knows he's going out with Isabella Swan to prove he's not gay! But he really wants me, he always stares at me!**

_You're a teacher? Oh. Well I'm guessing he's staring at the board to write down notes._

**Just because your jealous of my body! **Mr Banner whined defensively.

_I've never met you…_

**Well we can change that do you want my number? **Mr Banner said attempting to be flirty.

_Sir we called YOU so we obviously have YOUR number._

**Okay then I will be waiting for the delivery. What's your number, I mean we can meet up and you know…my wife is normally out and my kids can go play in the streets… **

Urgggh this was truly disgusting!

_Penelope banner…if it is meant to be you will guess it. _

_**I'LL LOOK IN THE PHONE BO-**_

_*hang up*_

We couldn't hold it in. We were all laughing on the floor.

"I have an idea!" Emmett said smiling evily. "I will need some water balloons, Vaseline and Mike's house address."

20 MINUTES LATER…

We were outside Mike's house with bags full of extra small water balloons covered in Vaseline.

"Emmett why didn't we just buy condoms instead of make them?" Alice questioned.

"Alice don't question my smartness! It was either water balloons or Walmart bags…" Emmett said firmly, "Anyway with the economy these days, we must recycle everything! Anyway I shall ring the doorbell and give Mike the condoms, we will then call Mr Banner and tell him to come collect them and viola.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, Emmett was in a disguise. Because of the _recession _Emmett wanted to use Alice's old Mario costume. As you can guess it was slightly too tight for him. Emmett approached Mike's house.

**EMPOV**

I knocked on the door waiting for it to be answered. Mike swung it open. His mouth hung open in surprise.

"Mario?! Mario. MUM I TOLD YOU MARIO EXISTED!" I rolled my eyes.

"Mr Newton here are the condoms you wanted delivered," I said as I handed over the bags of them.

"Finally… I've been waiting for like 2 months! You can never trust Ebay!" Mike took a look in the bag, "These are looking pretty good for second hand ones…" Mike took them off me. "Wanna try them out, you know to see if they work…" Mike asked.

"Umm as tempting as it sounds. No" Mike was filled with rejection and hurt,

"Fine I've got loads of bitches in my joint that would _love _to tap this" Mike said, he was interrupted by a manly voice.

"Mike where's the Doritos…HURRY UP! He's about to come back for Bella! I'm tearing up dude!!! Oh nos he's stepping into the sunlight. RUN BITCH RUN AND SAVE HIS VAMPIRE ASS!" I was certain it was Aro.

"So anyway you seem to have lots of 'women' in there so bye Mr Newton." I left quickly, but not before Mike called out to me,

"THEY ARE WOMEN THEY JUST HAVE MANLY VOICES!!! Like the opposite of Justin Bieber!" He defended. I rolled my eyes **[A/N: no offence Justin bieber fans (: I love him]**

I joined the others. "Bella give me the phone we need to call Mr Banner now!" Bella quickly gave me the phone, I quickly started to dial Mr Banners number; Bella stopped me.

"It's speed dial 1," We all looked at her strangely and as a result she blushed.

**Mr Banner **_Emmett and co._

_Hello Mr Banner there seems to be a mix up in the delivery._

**What?! I need them tonight!**

_Let's be honest Mr Banner, your not going to need them, your not getting lucky._

**Lucky?! You think having to stare at my wife's face is lucky?! Anyway… having children had affected our sex lives a little bit.**

_Your non existent sex life… Anyway, it seems to have delivered to 32 Penny drop Lane, you can go collect it._

**Urgh okay then!! I am not happy about this. I would like a discount for this fuckery!! Or me and you can umm you know **

_Yeah okay bye._

_*hang up*_

**MrBanner POV**

Typical condom factory. You would think they would treat a golden member with respect and deliver it to the right address!

I got in my car and started driving to the address given. It seemed to look familiar, but I couldn't quite grasp how. I knocked on the door, preparing myself for the awkward conversation. The door swung open.

"Mr Banner?!" The voice said. I looked up and there was Mike Newton. Shit. I was speechless. "Mr Banner…I said the extra tuition should be tomorrow night." Mike said winking.

"Umm this seems awkward but can I have my condoms back…? They were delivered here today," I said nervously. HOW EMBARASSING!

"They are my condoms I'm afraid. Finders keepers losers weepers sir." I moaned, this wasn't going to be easy.

"How about a deal…" I said, Mike's eyes brightened up.

"Okay I'll go get my coat and we'll go to yours!" He was about to rush off but I grabbed him, "Oooh tingly. It's meant to be," I hope Mike realises he is flirting with his teacher…

"Michael I meant I will ace your next exam." I told him

"I like my bargain better, and my way we could _both _enjoy it!" Mike said smiling. " Come in!" he ordered, I did as he said and walked in. Edward, Aro and Carlisle were there, all of them covered in god knows what. They were blowing balloons. Wait no they were condoms.

"Mine's biggest!" Aro declared. I laughed and they all stared at me.

"Man if I couldn't see you I would think you were doing something nasty!" I stated laughing. They all looked embarrassed. I started picking up all my condoms. "So I'll be going now." I started making my way out the door,

"NO YOU CAN'T YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR SIDE OF THE BARGAIN!" Mike screamed, I was ready to run but Mike dragged me upstairs and into his room. I heard him sigh, _"Mum _, my room is tidy! Now leave! I have a guest." Mike whined.

"Mike you have 2 year old pizza here!" His mother complained.

"That's my dinner for tonight! I'll just scrape off the mould." Mike stated.

"Saves me cooking," she muttered " Okay I'll leave just give me your top Michael! And you, mike's friend; wait should i worry that your much older than my Mikey... oh well give me your trousers!" She demanded. Was this normal for your mum to make you take off your shirt and make a stranger take off his?! Mike quickly took it off and gave it to her, i hesitantly took off my trousers. Mike's mum saw me looking at her weirdly. "I'm ironing it, I'm not some pedophile!" She defended herself then quickly left; the door slammed closed.

"Now where were we..." I gulped, "I need some help on my biology homework. FYI I don't mean this sexually" He said, Oh so he didn't want to have sex with me. Okay phew, panic over.

"To some people this would seem like we're about to have sex, I mean you topless and me in my boxers!" I said laughing awkwardly.

"yeah, good job no one's here…" Mike said filling the awkward silence. Just then there was a tap at the window and some shouting, I strained to listen.

"Okay I think it's here. Lower me down a bit!" A man came into view he stuck a piece of paper on the window and quickly took a picture of us. It was Emmett Cullen. "Quick lift me up! Let's go!" He then vanished. I looked at Mike trying to figure out what happened. I read the sign on the window it read;

**Your screwed.**

**It looks like your at it like bunnies.**

**Don't worry this won't be going on facebook**

…

**It will be in the next assembly,**

**Betcha can't wait :) Don't worry I'll make it interesting**

**I'll edit some sex toys in it. You'll love it.**

**And of course love me.**

**You have been pranked by:**

**Team Emmellalicecob**

**Emmellalicecob – 1 Rest of the world – 0**

**See ya at school you luvvas ;) kisses**

"This isn't good!" Mike said aloud.

"Well done einstein!" I snapped back.

**Dayuuum that was loooooooooong ****better appreciate it :) longest chapter i've EVER DONE!**

**Did you like? :)**

**Thanks for reading (Y)**


	7. Mr Banner & Mike Revenge Part I

**Disclaimer: I never will own twilight, as a result of me attempting to kidnap Stepehnie and claim the twilight saga, I now have a restraining oreder against her :'( so it's official. I don't own twilight :'( **

**MUST READ: Okay so if you've read my old story Prank Calls, you noticed that I used to do one chapter with the prank call and the following chapter with the 'aftermath' so that's what I'm going to be doing from now on in this story! I will do one chapter with the setting up of the prank and the following chapter with the actual prank. So this is the setting up of the prank. As a result the first chapters won't be AS funny as the following one, I will still try to make them as funny as I can though! So review and tell me what you think of this idea, I will do the next chapter when I feel I have gotten enough reviews,**

**Thanks**

**NOW GO READ THA STORY :)**

**MikePOV**

"What are we going to do? My reputation will be ruined!" I whined

"What reputation?" Mr Banner answered, " Anyway we have a couple of hours until the assembly, which means we have a couple of hours to get them back in time to embarrass them for the assembly." He explained,

"Okay let's get our team and think of an idea," I suggested,

"There's not enough time, we're going to have to do this solo," Mr Banner said.

"Okay, any ideas?" I asked, "Oooh wait I have one! I could kiss Edward, which will make Bella upset. Perfect plan!" I suggested smiling from ear to ear. Mr Banner sighed,

"Mike the picture of me and you isn't really helping your sexuality. Everyone knows your as straight as a round a bout and I don't think declaring that you want to kiss Edward Cullen is a good idea!"

"No, I don't want to kiss Edward, I mean I am willing to take one for the team," I replied trying to cover my desperate urge to kiss Edward Cullen,

"Whatever Mike, you will not kiss Edward Cullen! We need a better plan." My face dropped, however hard I tried to hide it.

"Fine then, I just thought it would be a brilliant plan. I mean Bella would be upset which would mean Emmett would be upset because Bella is upset; Rosalie would be upset that Emmett is upset and so on so forth. So everyone would be vulnerable to our pranks!" I stated,

"Mike, their not dominoes…" Mr Banner pointed out. I scowled at him for mocking me. I don't think people know that when they mock me it hurts me. "I have a better idea! We could replace all their things with manky stuff!" He said, getting excited.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked confused of what his plan was,

"Well we could replace their lipstick with crayons; their foundation with soil; Their eye liner with charcoal; Their soap with fake tan; Their shampoo with hair dye. It would be amazing. Then they we could make sure they are late to the assembly and they would walk in and everyone would see them!" He explained. A full blown smile broke across my face.

"That's brilliant!" I praised,

"They don't call me Mr Einstein for nothing!" Mr Banner said confidently.

"You know I've never heard anyone call you that…" I pointed out.

"Well, umm it hasn't really caught on yet. So you know, you could get it going" Mr Banner said defensively. "Anyway so we should go collect all the stuff we need, you get the fake tan, permanent marker and hair dye. I'll get the rest. Meet me back here in 15 minutes exactly! Here's my number, text me if there is any problems." Mr Banner said, handing over a piece of paper with his number on.

"Okay," I nodded and raced out the door to collect the things. I started walking to Walmart.

**FLASHBACK**

_"Here's my number, text me if you have any problems."_

_**FLASHBACK ENDS **_

Well i do have alot of problems, I got my phone out and started to text Mr banner,

_Dear Mr Banner,_

_ I recall you saying text me if i have any problems, well i do. I have alot, as some may joke. my biggest problem is seriously ruining my life. Everynight i sleep with Rupert, recently i havve gotten an addiction and i have to sleep with Rupert every night. He's an amazing performer and makes me happy. i slept with him all last week and two days of this week. The only thing is that before this i used to always sleep with Claire, Claire's found out about me and Rupert sleeping together and she's ignoring me whenever i try to speak to her. I really love her, but i love him too! I don't know what to do. I know Claire is upset over me sleeping with someone else, but i love Rupert and he makes me happy and smells nice! In addition to Claire, Bob, Sophie, Gaby and Isabelle are all getting jealous as i used to sleep with them. They are all ignoring me now and they all sleep together and leave me and Rupert to sleep together. I feel left out now really, because Rupert is now taking a liking to my little brother! WHAT DO I DO?! It really hurts that my stuffed teddy bears are ignoring me, and that Rupert may of moved on to sleep with my younger brother! Rupert is my robot monkey with does tricks. He really is a great performer of tricks!_

_Mike_

_**[A/N: now who thought that Mike was ACTUALLY having sex with these 'people'? tell me when you review if you did!]**_

I pressed send and waited for a reply. As i neared Walmart my phone vibrated.

_Mike,_

_By problems i mean problems WITH THE PRANK. i dno't mean your problems in life you doofus! Anyway, let's pretend i'm your therapist. I would say grow up, and learn to sleep by yourself! I mean if you have spent all your life without sleeping with any human how hard can it be that you don't sleep with any stuffed animals?! From this moment on, i will be changing my number. Please don't ask for it, because i will not hesitate to get a new phone number when you find out. I suggest you need a therapist._

_With NO Love,_

_YOUR BIOLOGY TEACHER._

So maybe i should sign onto the new therapist my mum told me to see. I thought i could rely on Mr Banner, we are like brothers! I'm starting to feel that he's starting to not like me and maybe he thinks that i'm annoying. Nah, that can't be it, i'm a very likeable person! No one hates me!

I started running into Walmart straight to the cosmetic aisle. I then started searching for fake tan. After a couple of minutes I still couldn't find it so I approached a Walmart worker,

"Excuse me, where is your fake tan?" I asked. The blonde lady turned around,

"Well sir, I generally do my legs and tummy, I tend not to do my face. I mean my face is pretty darn good looking already isn't it?" She said, completely misinterpretating my question.

"Yeah, your face is great, but what I mean is where in this _shop_ is the fake tan?" I repeated my question,

"Oh sorry sir, down here. It's a good job your buying some; your as pale as a banana! Looking at your complexion you need a darker shade than usual. So I would pick that one over there," She advised pointing to a fake tan on the shelf opposite.

"Thanks, but it's for my friends. What the darkest shade you have?" I asked. She thought for a second, and then reached out and got a box of fake tan and handed it to me.

"Here you are. Sir looking down, I think you may need some socks." She said, I looked at her in confusion,

"What do you mean? I know spongebob socks aren't the best socks for my age group, but I don't need any more socks!" I said defensive over my brand new socks my mummy gave me last weekend.

"No sir, they are really cool actually. My bra is like that, I'll show you" She was about to lift her top when I stopped her.

"Sorry I've got my eye on someone else," I said, she rolled her top down.

"Did you just deny free boobage?! You freak. You must be gay! OI Paul, this lad here turned down free boobage!" She said starting to shout to all her colleagues, they were all laughing now. This couldn't get any worse. I was wrong, the thundering loud speaker came on.

**MICHAEL NEWTON; AISLE 5 TURNED DOWN FREE BOOBAGE!**

I was turning bright red, the blonde lady turned towards me.

"Well, looks like I just came out the closet for you; no need to thank me. Anyway about the socks what I meant was you look well, not very well endowed, I mean your never going to get a girl with _that_. You should fill your boxers with socks. I'm surprised you haven't checked your little buddy to see if it's still there!" She said. My mouth hung open at her rudeness,

"Well my mom says when I finish going through puberty it will grow to about 1 foot long! Then I would be bangable!" I defended.

"Yeah sure, one foot! Yeah you would be bangable…With a bat" The lady spat back.

"Well you know what, this shop has hired terrible people. I'm going to Asda! Good day." I said my head in the air,

"Well, good luck, Asda is in England!" She scoffed. I started turning bright red,

"I know; England is where I'm going to go for my daily shop." I said, trying to cover up my embarrassment. Before I could embarrass myself anymore I stormed out the shop, I nearly made it but at the last minute I trip over a can of paint, which made all the cans above it fall and splatter to the ground. The whole store stood looking at me, I stood up quickly.

"You better clear that up, it's a safety hazard." i called casually The security guards grabbed me,

"Get out! And don't come back!" They shouted,

"Okay, I know I'm good looking but no need to touch me. I wasn't planning on coming back here! Your mum's ugly!" I shouted whilst quickly making my way back to my house. Mr Banner was sitting waiting.

"5 minutes Mike, your 5 minutes late! You look like a bloody art canvas! Where's the stuff I told you to buy?" Mr Banner asked.

"Uummm well, I kinda--" before I could say my excuse he cut me off,

"Well I thought you would screw it up, as usual. So I brought some spares of what you were meant to buy, now let's go over to their houses and make this prank happen!" Mr Banner said smiling. We filled our bags with our prank stuff and were running down the stairs, we were about to exit the door but my mother stood, arms folded,

"Where are you going Michael?" She asked sternly.

"I'm just playing with some friends!" I replied.

"But tea's ready. I made your favourite, pink fairy cakes and egg," She whispered upset,

"I'm sorry mum, I have to go," I said hugging her quickly.

"Well be back before curfew! I need to tuck you in by 7!" She shouted as we jumped in Mr Banner's car.

"Okay so you replace the soap and cover it with fake tan; Make the switch between the pink hair dye and shampoo and replace their eyeliner with permanent marker and charcoal!" Mr Banner commanded as we started driving.

"Woah, I'm not your slave, what are you doing?! Sitting and watching tele?!" I protested, annoyed that I would be doing all the work.

"No Mike, I am changing their lipstick with crayon; replacing their foundation with soil; Filling their shoes with custar; ripping their clothes; covering their hair brushes in golden syrup and changing their gel with Vaseline. Now stop complaining you woss," Mr Banner said firmly, clearly getting annoyed with me. We soon arrived at the Cullens house where we were going to start the prank.

"Let's go," I said stepping out the car as we discreetly made our way through the front door.

**TAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAAA :)**

**Next chapter will be the actual prank. I hope you like how I'm doing it now, odd numbered chapters will be the setting up of the prank and even numbers will be the actual prank. However this may change as I go along!**


	8. Mr Banner & Mike Revenge Part II

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, I never will. Okay I have learnt to deal with it :'( **

**Previously: **

_"Okay so you replace the soap and cover it with fake tan; Make the switch between the pink hair dye and shampoo and replace their eyeliner with permanent marker and charcoal!" Mr Banner commanded as we started driving._

_"Woah, I'm not your slave, what are you doing? Sitting and watching tele?" I protested, annoyed that I would be doing all the work._

_"No Mike, I am changing their lipstick with crayon; replacing their foundation with soil; Filling their shoes with custar; ripping their clothes; covering their hair brushes in golden syrup and changing their gel with Vaseline. Now stop complaining you woss," Mr Banner said firmly, clearly getting annoyed with me. We soon arrived at the Cullens house where we were going to start the prank._

_"Let's go," I said stepping out the car as we discreetly made our way through the front door._

**Chapter 8**

**Mike POV**

I made my way into their house.

"Okay you have like 20 minutes so hurry okay Mike? Here's a walkie talkie, if anything is wrong tell me, and I don't mean in your life I mean to do with this plan okay" Mr Banner demanded. I nodded and began to walk up the stairs. I entered the bathroom in search for the soap, the soap was perched on the shower handle, I went in my bag and reached for the fake tan and my walkie talkie.

**Mr Banner, I'm just taking out the fake tan. Okay now the cap is off, okay I'm about to carefully squeeze it into my hands. **

I squeezed the fake tan all over my hands and smothered the soap in it.

**Okay I'm going to put another coat onto the soap**

_MIKE, I'm brushing my hair, but I'm not telling you am i? I do NOT need a running commentary, it's not the bloody grand national _**[a/n: horse racing] **

**Apologies, just thought you would be proud of me. **

_Mike to be honest I'm proud I haven't punched you yet so just get on with what you have to do! _

I did as he said. After a couple of minutes the soap was covered with fake tan. I looked on the shelf with all the bathroom products and searched for their shampoo. As I was looking I spotted a lovely strawberry and mango lotion, oooh, I might just take that I thought as I placed it into my bag. I finally found the shampoo, there was about 7 bottles, I got out the pink hair dye I began pouring out the shampoo down the drain I was on the last bottle when I realised what a waste this was.

**[a/n: btw for the prank war, they are all staying in the same houses as their team members, Bella's team will be in the CUllens house]**

"I might as well wash my hair, instead of wasting this." I said to myself and immediately started stripping. All my clothes were off in 5 seconds. Bella would be proud. I stepped into the shower and began washing my hair. The scent of strawberries and mangoes filled my nose, it smelt like my wonderful Bella. I began singing Celine Dion at the top of my voice whilst washing myself. About 5 minutes later I hear banging on the door.

"OI CELINE DION GET OUT YOUR ASS OUT OF THE SHOWER YOU TARD." I recognised the voice, it was Mr Banner. I stepped out the shower about to cover up when Mr Banner stormed in, he stood shocked, I blushed.

"I know my body isn't as good as Edward Cullen's but can you stop laughing. My ego is dropping to minus numbers" I asked embarrassed. Mr Banner laughed even more.

"I'm not laughing at your body, I'm laughing at your hair." He said. I self consciously brushed my fingers through it

"My mummy brushed it today though." I defended. Mr Banner shoved me in the way of a mirror, looking in the mirror I realised my hair was bright pink. WHAT?

"WHAT? I used the shampoo without pink hair dye!" I screamed. Mr Banner held up a shampoo bottle that was on the floor,

"You mean this one that's FULL and hasn't been used?" He said laughing.

"Awww damn," I moaned.

"hahah, anyway get back to work!" Mr Banner demanded.

10 MINUTES LATER…

We had done everything and it was now time for our quick get away. I ran over to Mr Banner, yet again he burst out laughing after looking at my hair, I just gave him evils.

"Lets GO!" I sneered. Mr Banner laughed and we left the house.

"Okay what we need to do now is call them tomorrow morning and make them late, so I'm going to go home now," Mr Banner said, I began following him. "let me rephrase that, I'm going home BY MYSELF." I frowned

"Okay I'll be over bright and early at about 6 o clock," I said smiling.

"Mike make that 7 oclock, I'm not a morning person," Mr banner said, I nodded

"To be honest I'm not really, I mean I'm always hungover and it takes a while for the girls from the previous night to go home so yeah good idea," I lied, hoping that it sounded convincing

"Mike by drunk you mean scarily alert and ready and by previous girl you mean your teddy bear," Mr Banner said his eyes fixed on mine.

"You know Mr Banner that sounds like jealousy and since your staring at me, I would say you fancy me," I said winking at him.

"Mike, for the LAST time I am your biology teacher I do not fancy you! This is the time where I leave!" he said hopping into his car. I walked home to be greeted by my mum, she looked angry.

"Michael, it's 10 past 7 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" She screamed.

"I was hanging with ma gang" I said, putting on my chav accent. My mum just rolled her eyes,

"Okay right you little rebel, go to your room." She said trying to stop from laughing.

"Okay blud, but I'll be banging the tunes from ma beatbox alri mofo. There not the only thing I'll be banging though because some chicks are gunna come up to ma crib okay sweetcheeks?" She looked at me in disbelief. I began to run up the stairs, "Sorry mummy, I love you, can I still have some cookies and milk!"

**Mr Banner POV**

I was happily sleeping and I was dreaming when a bucket of cold water was thrown on my head, followed by someone jumping on my body. I bet I can guess who. I opened my eyes, Michael bloody Newton.

"Rise and shine love, it's 8 oclock!" he said cheerily. "I let you have an hour lay in so your awake and alert, I made you a full english breakfast!" I rubbed my eyes in annoyance

"Mike i do not like to be woken by a pink furball and how long have you been awake?" I wondered out loud. Mike smiled,

"Not long about 5 oclock, I had some coffee to keep me awake though."

I laid back down sighing. I was then slapped,

"WAKE UP! Now! If your ready I mean, when your ready but it would be most appreciated if it was now." Mike amended mid sentence. I got up and began to get ready.

**[I don't know if school assembly comes first, but I will now! or if there is assemblies in America]**

"Okay we need to delay them all, I'll call them now," Mike announced as he got out his phone and dialled.

**Mike **_Bella's team_

**Helloooooooo this is pizza express, would you like a pizza?**

_No thank you, actually Jake do you want one? Okay can we have one please._

**Okaaay delivery will come soon. You must NOT leave the house until it is delivered otherwise we will blow up the world.**

_What are you? Aliens *giggle*_

**If I told you, I would have to kill you.**

_Right okay, _This was awful, I took the phone off of Mike

**Hello this is Dr Pea Nis and I'm hear to tell you that there has been an invasion of, Killer sperm and if you exit your house you will become pregnant with sperm babies.**

_Aww that's cute_

**CUTE? CUTE? Think of their names, they would be like Spermily and Spermatin and maybe even Spermalina! Why would you do that to your kids? You must stay indoors and cover your vagina at ALL times.**

_Oh okay. Emmett you hear that, so no sex for a while. _I heard Emmett's distance cry.

**Do not leave the house until we have cleared up all the Killer sperm with our giant vacuum.**

_Okay_

***hang up***

"Mike that was shockingly bad. Maybe the worst prank call ever. Good job that I saved you" I insulted. Mike frowned. "Okay, turn that frown upside down and lets go to school. Poor Jacob will be all alone!" I said.

"Wait there," Mike said as he ran up the stairs, he came back down wearing a pink feather boa around his head. "It's all about camouflage you see," Mike said, as if it was the best idea he's ever had. I rolled my eyes,

"well I'm afraid, all I see is a jackass with pink hair and a pink feather boa wrapped around his head like a turban!" I shouted as I stormed into the car. Mike jumped in the passenger seat throwing grapes in his mouth I stared at him.

"Mike please refrain from throwing grapes into your mouth in my car." I scolded.

We were about 5 minutes away from school when I pulled over,

"Get out," I said simply,

"Why I've been good!" Mike said on the verge of tears.

"Nothing, just I can't arrive in school with you in my car!"

"Oh right I get it they might think we have a thing going on." Mike said understandingly. I shook my head,

"No they might think I am _friends_ with you" I said as I pushed him out the car and drove off.

**BPOV**

Great we're not aloud out of the house because of the Killer sperm. The guy sounded like Mike, but I mean I don't think Mike knows what sperm is so… I guess I'll just be stuck in here with these lot. I had just stepped out the shower after washing my hair and began to brush my hair, my hair was all sticky. I looked at the brush, it was filled with golden syrup. I then looked in the ... I let out a massive scream.

**EMPOV**

After showering and washing my hair I decided to put on my shoes, they felt really weird, I then looked in the full length mirror to take in my beauty. I screamed at what I saw. My body was covered in streaky, dark as mud fake tan; I had bright pink hair; I had custard in my shoes! My spongebob socks were probably ruined! To top it off my Abercrombie and Fitch top was ripped with holes. I ran to the wardrobe to find an alternative but all my clothes were ripped, apart from a pink tutu. No chance I'm wearing that.

**JacobPOV**

I began to do my hair, the gel felt weird and sticky. I then put a little bit of foundation on to keep my lovely complexion fresh. I looked in the mirror, but it was broken, i guess Rosalie looked in it! Oh good one Black, i must tell her that one. With my amazing joke in my head i set off out the door to school, with my head held high. Although I felt the wind hitting my bare back. That's weird because I'm wearing a jumper…

**AlicePOV**

Another day at school, another chance to show of what I got! We're not aloud out of the house according to Bella, it's annoying because I can't see the future because it just disappears. I got out the shower. I know I don't have to shower but you kind of get used to it as I did every day when I was human, so why not? I had given my hair a good old wash and I stepped out and began to put on my foundation, it felt really crumbly but I still carried on. I then put on two extra coatings of eyeliner and mascara. Since Jazzy has been pranking me, I might as well show him what he's missing. I went into my wardrobe and grabbed my favourite midnight blue one shoulder dress and slipped into it. I looked in the mirror and screamed at the result. I had mud on my face, I had black stuff smeared around my eyes and my _skin_ was covered in way too much fake tan. The only thing I liked was the colour of my hair. Pink is so my colour! But all that combined could not prepare me for what I was about to see, my favourite dress was covered in eggs and had icing all over it with the words

**PAYBACK'S A BITCH**

At least they hadn't done any long lasting damage like ripping it.

**BPOV**

MY phone began ringing, and I was seriously not in the mood.

**Bella **_Mike and Mr Banner_

_Hello Ms Swan we have killed all the killer sperm, you can come out of your house now. Don't be late for school, I hear something funny's going to happen in assembly!_

**Wait how do you know I go to school? And how do you know which school?**

_Umm, I ate some killer sperm and it made me psychic so yeah BYE! *hang up*_

That was weird. I looked at my watch. Damn

"Guys it's 9.15 come on we're late!" I screamed at Emmett and Alice, Jacob had already gone to school. Emmett and Alice came down the stairs and looked at me. They began to laugh, in return I scowled at them. "I don't think your in the position to laugh at _my _appearance when the same happened to you!" I snapped

"Bellaaa I seriously can't go to school like this!" Alice whined, "I have a reputation unlike you!"

"Yeah Bella, can't we just stay home!"

"No, something funny is going to happen, we can just enter through the stage and no one will notice if we stay backstage, then we'll go home!" I said dragging them into my car.

"Bella I'm already depressed on my appearance, and being in this hellhole of a car isn't helping. It's like we're in chiddy chiddy bang bang!" Emmett said. I gripped my steering wheel tighter, so I wouldn't kill Emmett. "Sorry I insulted your car but at least go over 5 mph and pump up the tunes!"

"Emmett you have pink hair, you can't be chavvy alright"Emmett nodded and stayed quiet. We soon arrived at school, thanks to my safe driving. We creeped into school and went backstage and remained hidden from everyone. We could see everyone sitting down.

"Okay guys be quiet okay." I whispered. Alice nodded, Emmett being Emmett shouted a response. Luckily Alice saw this coming and covered his mouth. "Emmett shut up!" we stayed there for 5 minutes, I then felt a tap on my shoulder I was about to scream but I turned to realise it was Jakey.

"Jake what are you doing here?" I whisper yelled.

"Well I was on my way to school but realised that Emmett left his spongebob hat in my bag so I'm here to give it to him," Jake responded as he handed Emmett's lucky hat over to him. Emmett began jumping up and down.

"Thank you wolfboy! I've been looking for this" Emmett said as his eyes turned into slits "Wait, were you stealing Spongey?" Jake rolled his eyes,

"If I was stealing _Spongey _I wouldn't be giving it back to you would i?" Jake protested. "But I do admit that I needed to borrow it for 5 seconds because the sun was shining down on my beautiful skin!" The head teacher was speaking to the school.

"So it seems yet again that the visitors have failed to arrive, whilst we wait I'll tell a joke! Okay there was two muffins in an oven, one muffin says to the other 'it's hot in here.' The other muffin says 'wow a talking muffin!' ha isn't that funny. No Okaaaay then" he said

Meanwhile Emmett was in disbelief of what he just heard from Jacob. "YOU THEIF" He shouted. Just then the headteacher turned to look at us hidden backstage.

"Oh we have some guests it seems, come on out!" he said as he dragged us on stage. He took one good look at us, "Isabella Swan, Emmett McCartney, Alice Cullen and that buff boy from La Push?" Before he could finish everyone was bursting out laughing with their phones out taking pictures. We began to exit the stage but for some reason we couldn't I looked down, the stage had been _glued _we were all stuck including the head teacher. I heard people talking in the crowds.

"They look like Oompa Lumpas!" Some random geek shouted.

Mike and Mr Banner stood up. Mike was wearing a bright pink feather turban and he had bits of pink hair, i was not in the mood to laugh though

"Liking the style guys. No need to thank us," They shouted as they high fived.

**You likeeeeeee :) I was thinking today that I should update this because of my lovely reviewers :D I'm thinking of quitting this story :/ not many people are reading it or reviewing :S tell me what you think. Should I continue or stop?**


	9. The Aftermath & Prank Calls return

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, it's Stephenie Meyer's ;'( I will never own it.**

**Dear viewers;**

**I was so happy with all the reviews I got to tell**

**Me to continue this story, so now I know that many**

**Of you read It and review the story, I am**

**Hoping the same for this chaper. (10 reviews)**

**Thanks, hope you enjoy.**

**Previously**

_"Oh we have some guests it seems, come on out!" he said as he dragged us on stage. He took one good look at us, "Isabella Swan, Emmett McCartney, Alice Cullen and that buff boy from La Push?" Before he could finish everyone was bursting out laughing with their phones out taking pictures. We began to exit the stage but for some reason we couldn't I looked down, the stage had been __glued __we were all stuck including the head teacher. I heard people talking in the crowds._

_"They look like Oompa Lumpas!" Some random geek shouted._

_Mike and Mr Banner stood up. Mike was wearing a bright pink feather turban and he had bits of pink hair, i was not in the mood to laugh though_

_"Liking the style guys. No need to thank us," They shouted as they high fived._

**BPOV**

"I hate you guys so much." I glared at Mike and Mr Banner, they just smiled in return. I had nearly forgot the hundreds of laughing and camera flashes, in the crowd were most of the Cullens. I glared at Edward and pointed at him, "YOU, get me out of here," I demanded. He just shook his head and laughed.

"Who needs wedding pictures when we've got these?" Edward said waving his camera in the air. He _knew _this was going to happen. I can't believe him.

"There will be no wedding Eddie," I said slyly, Edward's face dropped in horror smiled sweetly in return.

"We love you too Bellsy, I think it's clear who is winning the prank war."

"No, No, No, your wrong! The prank war clearly states that your in teams! You did it as a two and betrayed your team. So technically this _never _should of happened. So I will give you 5 seconds to get me out of here, Mikey boy" Emmett snarled. Mike stood up and made no move to move with his arms crossed.

"Nope," he said smiling.

"I didn't want to do this Mike, but I have to. I'm going to click my fingers and everyone here will forget this will ever happened. I'm sorry I had to do this." Emmett apologised, he waved his hands about and clicked them for about 10 seconds. "Memories, memories god a bad, I want them gone because it makes me….sad. Oh it rhymes, I'm a poet and I didn't know it! O.m.g that rhymes too! I'm on fire but not a _liar_"

"Emmett shut up, we don't need a Dr seus in here!" I shouted, "We have bigger problems!" I said pointing to the audience,

"OH don't worry bella, they have forgotten about it all!" Emmett reassured. I didn't believe Emmett, because he's Emmett.

"You guys look so stupid!" A random guy shouted, I swivelled to Emmett,

"Is that what you call forgotten! My life is ruined!" I screeched. Alice who had remained quiet finally spoke out,

"Your life is ruined? Mine is! All my clothes are ruined, well all my good ones,. I need good clothes to live!" She whined,

"Alice hun you can borrow mine, I won't mind," I suggested.

"I repeat I need _good _clothes to live Every second I'm on this stage 5% of my popularity is going down!" Alice replied harshly.

"We need to get out of here, this dog over here has a flea appointment in 10 miuntes!" Emmett said pointing to Jacob.

"Shut up vamp. Maybe if we're nice to them, they'll let us free!" Jacob suggested. We all nodded

"Good idea. EDWARD FREAKING CULLEN, IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT OF HERE I'M DUMPING YOU." I shouted, before Edward could get up and help, Mike sprinted up to the stage, on his way he fell over and twisted his ankle.

"Owwww my ankle, oh well this is important," He began to crawl to help us, but he forgot that he had glued the stage. "I'm stuck? What is this? Is it a black hole, I'm sure there's a scientific explanation for this!" Mike reasoned.

"I may be dumb Mike, but I know there is no scientific explanation, but you and your dick of a friend Mr Banner have glued the stupid stage." Emmett replied. Camera's were still flashing in the audience. "DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE ENOUGH PICTURES? SURELY YOUR OUT OF FILM OR BATTERY? DO YOU WANT OUR LIVES? TAKE THEM, YOU MIGHT AS WELL. STRIP US OF EVERYTHING WE HAVE. Go on, take our blood" Emmett shouted. They all laughed and kept taking pictures,

"Damn, I've ran out of memory on my phone! I had 2GB of memory as well! Can someone Bluetooth the rest of them tomorrow," Eric shouted in the crowd. There were choruses of 'yeaah sure'

"I'm making a facebook page just for these pictures!" Tyler shouted,

"Same! I've already made a group about this! It's called '27/6/10 was the best day of my life LOL JK my names Emmett Cullen, Bella Swan, Alice Cullen and Jacob Black!"

I've made a group too! It's called 'Hi, I'm a sexy ladies man LOL JK my names Jacob Black and I'm covered in shit.'. I also made another one called ' Hi I'm Alice Cullen, I only use the best makeup LOL JK I use mud as foundation'"

"I've joined them," Someone replied. This made us increasingly angry.

"If ANY of these pictures end up on any socializing network, or in people's viewing outside of this room, I will personally decapitate your head. Kapeesh." Emmett threatened,

"I second that Emmett, but I will do a lot worse." Jacob said.

"I third that, anyway you can't you haven't had my permission to put them online! It's a criminal offence to do that!" I stated, Mr Banner then stood up,

"Being a higher authority I give you permission." He declared, everyone cheered and whooped. I looked at him horrified,

"you know, I dreamed a dream that in the future all people would have the same status no matter if they have the same uniform or different face shape, or if they have glasses, or even if they're ginger. People should be treated the same! What you just said there is Studentist, a form of racism to be honest. I thought Martin Loafer and that Jelly Mantella changed the world about this" Emmett preached **[A/N: Martin loafer and Jelly Matella are obv Martin Luther and Nelson Madella]**

"Preach it brother!" I shouted, raising my head in the air.

"Who knew oompa lumpas could preach!" Someone shouted in the audience.

"Oh aren't you just hilarious." Alice said, her voice dripping with saracasm.

"Who said it." Emmett shouted, no one replied, "Tell me I won't hurt you if you own up," A random geek stood up,

"It twas me that said that humorous statement," He owned up confidently.

"Well, I may not be good at maths like you but I pretty sure that, you plus me plus fight equals your death." Emmett said fiercely.

"Oh come on then, oh wait you can't because your stuck there." He replied confidently, raising his trousers up his tummy, retucking in his shirt, and fixing his bow tie.

"One quick thing, buy new trousers, they're meant to touch the floor, not 5 cm off your ankles. And another, you wanna bet I can't get you?" Emmett said, slipping off his shoes and jumping off the stage, unfortunately he didn't reach the end and became stuck to the stage again in his socks. I rolled my eyes,

"Great Emmett, ruined our chances."

"It was all intentional," Emmett defended.

"Okay, I think it's time to get you guys out," The headmaster said.

"About time!" Alice screeched.

"We would like to apologise to everyone here we thought he dress code was to dress up as Mike and Mr Banner." Emmett boomed

"Guys, don't forget, no school tomorrow," the head master reminded

**10 MINUTES LATER…**

We were finally free but that didn't matter, as we speak all the photos are getting uploaded onto social networking websites.

"Okay, our lives are ruined!" Alice stated, we were standing in the corridor, we still were covered in shit. Mr Banner came walking down the corridor,

"Guy's off to class," He said laughing, we looked at him, then to each other. We picked him up and shoved him in a cupboard, locked it and put a sign on it that was made by Emmett, it read

**Do nOt EnteR**

**LotZ oF EleKtrIsiTeY**

**It will kill YoU!**

"Okay, so we won't see him for a bit, it's all good," Emmett said,

"Emmett, how can you say this is good? Look at us. I'm going home."

"No Alice you must stay! Education is very important!" Emmett said, Jacob rolled his eyes,

"Emmett, my status in this school is _more_ important. Bye," She said walking out of the school, Emmett looked shocked and disgusted,

"In this world to be clever, you must be dedicated! She clearly is not!" Emmett stated,

"You must not be dedicated either then Emmett," I muttered, luckily he chose to ignore it.

**CharliePOV**

"I think it's time to prank someone again," I suggested.

"I never thought I would say this, but I agree Charlie," Renee replied.

"What shall we do then? We don't need Mike, let him do what he wants," Jessica replied,

"Well, I think we should prank call someone, it's been a while." Renee suggested, everyone nodded in agreement.

"Let's call Eric's team,"

**Eric Team **_Jessica, Charlie and Renee,_

**Hello…? **

…

**Guys, shut up! Okay, sorry about that hello?**

_Hello Eric, this is…._

**Anyone else excited about the return of the prank calls ;) Review, i hope I get as many reviews as I have from that last chapter I posted about continuing the story (10 reviews). I won't update till I feel I have had enough :)**

**I know this isn't your fav chapter, but remember, every other chapter will be a prank (Y)**

**So click the button and review ;) **


	10. DELETE?

**PLEASE READ**

**okay no one reviewed my last chapter, and i didn't get many views, and it is apparent that i am getting less and less views. so i will decide at the end of the week if i am deleteing this story or not. it is most likely that i am :/ on my poll 50% of you said to delete it and concentrate on my other story and the other 50% said to keep it, so i will wait over the next few days and see if anything changes.**

**if i do delete it i am happy to keep it but to let someone carry it on and adopt it, so review me or pm me if you want to adopt my story.**


	11. SORRY

Re**ally sorry, i have come to the conclusion tthat i am too busy to work on my sttories as i have to focus on my GCSE's**

**my sincere apologies if you enjoyed my stories**

**Thank you for reading**

**IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN CONTINUING ONE OF MY STTORIES PLEASE PM ME**

**sorry again**

**oxoxTwilightloverxoxo**


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